Weekly Horoscopes for 12/11-12/17, 2017
Hi kids!!! Mr. Saturn here. Glad to have you back! Like many of you, for better or worse I will soon be heading home for the holidays, which for me is my native sign of Capricorn; A mountaintop, a bunch of freakish half-goat, half-fish relatives to deal with… All I can say about that is…Fa la la la la…..la..la ……la…….la………..ugh.
Aries- The week will begin in a vacuum with a Libra Moon un-aspected in your House of Relationships, meaning you’re either depressed that you don’t have a relationship or else you don’t know what to do about the one you’ve got. Either way a Scorpio Moon conjunct Mars mid-week in your House of Transformation will find you feeling alone and/or alienated enough to do something you’ might regret… but don’t!!! Mercury Retrograde meeting up with Venus in Sag could bring an old friend to the rescue. You’re feeling crazy so let off some steam with someone who knows how weird being you can get.Mr. Saturn would suggest perhaps some karaoke to welcome the New Moon? “Twenty, twenty, twenty-four hours ago…..I wanna be sedated…..nuthin to do nowhere to go-oh…..I wanna be sedated.”
Taurus- This week could be a real slow burn for you. A Libra Moon with nowhere to go except where everyone else seems to want it could see you compromising yourself into utter frustration either on the job or at home. By the time the Moon gets into Scorpio mid-week and gossips with both Mars and Jupiter, you’ll be roundly chastising yourself. “How could you let them do that to you?” you’ll say to yourself, or else to your poor pet that just wants to lie next to you in peace. Uranus in your House of Secrets will make you fantasize about all the murder and mayhem you could enact upon these people in vengeance, however, by the time Mercury Retrograde and Venus meet up in bubbly Sagittarius over the weekend you’ll be ready to forget all that and go back to saying, “Namaste” to everyone. Mr. Saturn already knows what he’ll get you for Christmas….a big bottle of booze.
Gemini- With the Moon starting the week in your House of Fun (and the sign of Libra) you’ll probably feel compelled to be a man or woman for all seasons for both family and friends, but is that what you really want to do? With 5 major planets in your House of Relationships (including Mercury Retrograde) and all of them in dippy Sagittarius to boot, be careful you don’t forget how certain individuals have already shown you they are not as nice as they pretend. When the Moon enters Scorpio in your House of Routines and joins with Mars and Jupiter to aspect Pluto in your House of Death and Transformation, seize your power with these users and wield it as decisively as if you were a self-absorbed two year old….”nonononono!!!!!!” “That’ll show ‘em,” say’s Mr. Saturn.
Cancer- Having a directionless Libra Moon in your House of Foundations to start the week is making you feel so conflicted between your desires and responsibilities that if you agreed to a session with a shrink you’d probably be diagnosed as a schizophrenic. There are 5 major planets transiting through your House of Work and with all of them watching a rebellious, iconoclastic Uranus in your House of Career acting like Bart Simpson and giving them all the finger, you keep asking yourself just how much more of this you can take? When the Moon enters your House of Children to join both Mars and Jupiter as they all trine Neptune in your House of Philosophy, you’ll eventually remember who you’ve been sacrificing for all this time. Make sure you also remember that nothing in life lasts forever. As he pours you a nice glass of wine, Mr. Saturn will add, “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you’ll get what you need…..oh yeah..”
Leo- You will be torn this week between freedom and responsibility. With 5 planets transiting through Sagittarius and your House of Creativity and all of them lining up with innovative, individualistic Uranus in your House of Philosophy, you’ll be wanting to write your own ticket and make up your own rules. However, Mercury Retrograde in Sagittarius may be singing behind the scenes to those other Sag Planets, “Turn, turn, turn, there is a time for every purpose under heaven.” The Moon, Mars, and Jupiter in Scorpio in your House of Home will likely agree, as they demand your attention instead be focused on an intervention for a lonely friend or family member who really just needs to know someone cares.
Virgo- Imagine two soldiers standing guard on the wall of a fort. One say’s, “It’s quiet,” and the other replies, “Yeah, too quiet.” Just then an Indian’s arrow hits one of them and the air is filled with screaming war cries. A series of petty emergencies may surprise you this week, but if you and your partner pull together and delegate things properly everything should work out. All of the focus for the rest of this year will probably be at home as you have 5 major planets (including Mercury Retrograde) transiting that area. They are all in aspect to Uranus in your House of Transformation, so if you can go with the flow you just might experience some pleasant surprises. If romance has been lacking as of late between you and yours, let Mars and Jupiter in Scorpio help you get the passion back. Mr. Saturn say’s, “Rrrrrrrrrrrr…….”
Libra- Having 5 major planets in your House of Communications (including Mercury Retrograde) would make this an excellent time for you to reach out, especially to a person or professional group you may have fallen out of touch with. Because Uranus is also involved, you could end up receiving an unexpected blast from the past from either an old flame or someone who has popped into your mind again recently. With Mercury and Uranus together, there’s never any telling where these surprises may lead! Mars, the Moon, and Jupiter in your House of Earnings in aspect to Neptune in your House of Work could bring an unexpected opportunity for either some quick dough or a position that could showcase a unique talent you have. Maybe Santa actually did get your letter this year?
Scorpio- With a stellium of planets in your House of Earnings and Uranus in your House of Work, the Holidays for you are going to be busy busy busy. You may end up being exhausted but you should manage to rake in enough dough to make it well worthwhile. It won’t be all work and no play though because you also have Mars, Jupiter, and the Moon in your sign this week and they are all aligning beneficially with Neptune in your House of Romance and Fun. Even if you’re feeling frazzled take the time to attend a party and hit the egg nog. You never know, that overgrown elf lurking under the mistletoe and throwing back the brewski’s may just turn out to be your very own special Secret Santa (or secret Saturn if you’ve been REALLY good this year…..just sayin’).
Sagittarius- Having the Sun, Mercury Retrograde, Venus, Saturn, and the New Moon all in your sign aligning with Uranus in your House of Fun would indicate that the party this week is in Sag!!! With the Moon in Libra to start the week you will probably be feeling magnanimous and accommodating, however, once the Moon shifts into Scorpio and meets with Jupiter and Mars behind the scenes you might want to rethink your nice guy approach in lieu of certain individuals (okay, let’s be specific, certain family members) who might take advantage of your good nature. The Lunar Arc will finish in your sign over the weekend with a New Moon conjunct Saturn and trine Uranus, meaning that instead of letting the same jerks who have ruined your holiday in the past do it again, this time take the high ground. Mr. Saturn would suggest, “Bless the beasts and the children.” In other words, be nice to kids and pets and then either ignore your stupid relatives or find a comfy, out of the way spot to drink by yourself.
Capricorn- You’re like a floating iceberg this week in that most of what you’re thinking and feeling is concealed below the surface. This is because a stellium of planets in Sagittarius (including Mercury Retrograde) are all hiding behind the scenes and aligning with Uranus at the bottom of your chart. A kind and compassionate Jupiter/Neptune configuration between your Houses of Friends and Communication could help you avoid depression if you’re willing to seek out a friend or family member with whom you can vent a little to relieve the pressure. After all, the holidays can be frustrating if you let yourself get cornered into believing that everybody except you is happy with all this phony commercialism and advertised joy. On a more upbeat note amidst all this Christmas nonsense, Mr. Saturn will be coming to visit your sign just before Christmas Eve! Yay humbug!!!
Aquarius- Right now there are 5 major planets in your House of Dreams and they are all aligning with Uranus in your House of Communication. As a result, the illusion of choice for you now is popularity. The Lunar Arc will travel this week from Libra through Scorpio to Sagittarius or from establishing relationships to manipulating these relationships for fame and gain. “That sounds great,” you say, which may actually be the problem. Mars and Jupiter in Scorpio transiting through your House of Career and Public Image would indicate that no matter how broad your smile and no matter what promises you are making to all the people you’re asking for help, the simple fact is this is all about you. Pluto camped out behind the scenes would indicate a need to transform the notions you have about love change from adoration to humility, but then again you’d have to be able to be by yourself to deal with that, which is the scariest place in the world for you right now. The New Moon in Sag shacking up with Mr. Saturn will likely arrange for you to have your illusions for a while longer, so enjoy it while you can. Mr. Saturn’s haiku this week is yours:
To think your ego
Is what will conquer this life
Defines Black Magick
Pisces- A traffic jam of planets in your House of Career (including a very dissident Mercury Retrograde) are all causing you to have illusions of practicality about your former ambitious illusions. Now what could that possibly mean? Well, maybe the river you initially chose to cross wasn’t really the right one for you (which of course you wouldn’t hear at the time)? Nevertheless, changing horses now when you’re 3/4 of the way across is ridiculous, especially since you’re so close to finishing and learning whatever it is you’re supposed to. Now do you understand? Probably not, mostly due to the fact that transiting Mars in Scorpio aligning with Neptune in your sign at this time is giving you a real passion for not having a clue and being defensive about it. You think choice and responsibility are mutually exclusive just because they’re two different words, well, not to whoever is sponsoring this adventure you’ve been having….have you thought of that? When the New Moon tattles to Mr. Saturn on Sunday he may just make you aware of it.