Weekly Horoscopes for 12/10-12/16, 2018
Hi kids!!! Welcome back to Mr. Saturn’s Stars.
“The United States Attorney charges:
1. From in or about 2007 through in or about January 2017, MICHAEL COHEN, the defendant, was an attorney and employee of a Manhattan-based real estate company (the “Company”). COHEN held the title of “Executive Vice President” and “Special Counsel” to the owner of the Company (“Individual-1”).
2. In or about January 2017, COHEN left the Company and began holding himself out as the “personal attorney” to Individual-1, who at that point had become the President of the United States.”
Obviously Rump still believes in Santa Claus if he thinks he has been totally cleared of any wrong doing……maybe someone should tell him he’s been a bad boy and will only get coal in his stocking this year (pun intended).
Aries- This week could be a little bit of an emotional downer for you with passionate Mars and romantic Neptune behind the scenes trying to catch up with the hopeful, happy Sagittarius Sun in your House of Philosophy; sorry, but whoever it is you think you want will likely end up delivering too little, too late; that is, if you even get anything at all out of this person. Combine that with Mercury in your House of Desire inconjuncting Uranus in your sign and you may just find yourself feeling like having a nervous breakdown or committing a murder……Don’t do either… Venus in your House of Resources moving into alignment with Saturn in your House of Career will likely salvage the week (and your sanity) as they both serenade you with some true wisdom… as the song goes, “Your lovin’ gives me a thrill/But you’re lovin’ don’t pay my bills.”
Taurus- Mercury and Jupiter in your House of Transformation will have you envisioning something that may not be entirely realistic as their unbridled optimism causes you to overlook the gloom and doom twins, Mars and Neptune, as they act to conceal the fact that someone around you is hoping to rain on your parade. With quirky and unpredictable Uranus behind the scenes, don’t let yourself be surprised by a brick falling out of the sky and hitting you on the head. It would be best now to follow Saturn’s lead as he turns the tables on Venus, who is trying to seduce him from her boudoir in sexy Scorpio; have modest hopes and desires and it’ll be a lot less likely you’ll be disappointed. Remember, one in the hand is worth two in the bush.
Gemini- Don’t put much stock this week in what people say, instead pay attention to what they do. As the Sun transits smiley Sagittarius and your House of Partnerships it will be squaring both Mars and Neptune in your House of Public image, so expect to be misled; just make sure whatever blows up in your face is a result of your own choices and not because you listened to a load of hooey from some snake oil salesman (especially if you’re usually the snake oil peddler, comprende?). Likewise, don’t go threatening anyone just because you may not like what’s going on…..Mercury in your House of Work inconjuncting Uranus retrograde in your House of Groups could bring some unexpected blow back and you may not be as tough as you like to pretend.
Cancer- Have you ever heard the expression, “there are more horses asses in the world than horses”? Well, if you haven’t then pay attention this week because a universal truth may just reveal itself to you at work in the form of someone else’s stupidity beyond your wildest dreams. You can thank the Sun in goofy Sagittarius squaring both Mars and Neptune in obtuse Pisces for this cabaret of crapulousness, just make sure you can hear solid Saturn in your House of Partnerships as he aligns with Venus in your House of Creativity so that you don’t get too caught up listening to the wrong people. Know who you can depend on and who you can’t and let the verbal diarrhea fall wherever it may; just make sure you watch your step and let Jupiter in your House of Work lead you to the high ground.
Leo-With three major planets in your House of Creativity, your inspiration is ready to be ignited, just make sure someone doesn’t try to set it smoldering as angry Mars and depressing Neptune in watery Pisces pass through your House of Shared Resources. This undermining could come from someone you look at as a partner, but who is really jealous of you. If you sense someone close is being passive aggressive and trying to make you feel guilty for doing what you want, then you’re probably right. Follow your own drummer and then make a mental note of how angry they get in response. Hold your ground and you’ll finally get to see exactly who you’re dealing with.
Virgo- If you’re excited that the holidays are here make sure you don’t let some old scrooge spoil it for you. With a trio of happy planets in your House of Home you’ll likely want to make your nest bright and festive, however, with the Grinch and Max, a.k.a Mars and Neptune in your House of Partnership, someone close to you has probably been wearing their matching “Bah, Humbug” undershirts and briefs since Thanksgiving. With Saturn in your House of Creativity aligning with Venus in your House of Communication, try to roll with their bad attitude for the time being. If they don’t know that Santa doesn’t bring any toys to girls and boys who have been bad, then ph*ck ‘em!
Libra- As the year starts to wind down, you may be feeling your energy start to diminish as well. You’re a trooper, so with three active planets in your House of Communication you’ll be trying to make a show of it right up until the old guy brings in the baby, however, with both Mars and Neptune in your House of Work and Health the best thing for you to do to close out the year may just be to rest up and look to come out of the gate right on time with starters pistol in 2019. Venus going through your House of Self Worth and aspecting Saturn in your House of Foundations should help you to realize what you have, even if you did fall a little short of what you wanted this past year. You are loved and appreciated and you will live to fight (and win!) another day.
Scorpio- Venus is in your sign and as she comes into alignment with Saturn in your House of Communication, make sure you’re saying what you mean and meaning what you say; it could make all of the difference. This is because the gregarious Sagittarian Sun in your House of Self Worth could likely have an alienating effect on those you’d hope to impress, especially since it will be squaring Mars and Neptune, the champions of mixed messages. It’s not your fault that squares are squares and prudes are prudes, just make sure that you don’t give some holier than thou hypocrite the ammunition they need to project their impotency on you and misinterpret the positive message you’re trying to bring across. No one can think for those who are too lazy to think for themselves, so, as Malcolm X used to say, “Make it plain.”
Sagittarius- Before you patch out and go from 0-60 in a matter of seconds, make sure your tires are sound because a blow out now could be deadly. The Sun, Jupiter, and Mercury in your sign will want to put the pedal to the metal, however, with Mars and Neptune sowing their seeds of illusion where the rubber meets the road, don’t assume the track is in good shape unless you’ve seen so for yourself. Follow Saturn’s lead as he pairs up with Venus and make sure to check ahead of time in order to be certain everything is copasetic with where you want to go and what you have to work with. You’re all about big ideas, just don’t end up like the elephant who gets spooked by a mouse.
Capricorn- Having Saturn in your sign for as long as you have has no doubt made you, shall we say, a little conservative. Yet with Venus going back through your House of Groups and Friends, perhaps it’s time for you to play hooky on old Saturn and give yourself a break over the holidays. With the Sun, Jupiter, and Mercury all behind the scenes you know you want to have a few drinks, wear a lampshade on your head at a party, and generally carouse, just make sure you have a designated driver or an escort you trust. Mars and Neptune in your House of communication and short trips could have you overlooking the fact that you’re out of practice for the debauchery decathlon, so make it a point to go slow and sip whatever your beverage may be. From what I’ve heard Santa has never hazed anybody, so don’t let anyone pressure you in his name.
Aquarius- Whatever ideas you’ve been creating to be able to cope with your circumstances, from now on life will likely be serving you reality straight with no chaser. Especially since Mars and Neptune in your House of Self Worth will be squaring the Sun in your House of Dreams and making it more difficult for you to believe that things will be okay if they continue as they are. Saturn behind the scenes aligning with Venus in your House of Career will no doubt help you to face your miscalculations and take responsibility, but what inquiring minds want to know is if you’ll be able to acknowledge the writing on the wall without a catastrophe occurring first? Uranus retrograde in your House of Thinking and Communication would suggest that you assume nothing at this point if you’re currently behind the eight ball.
Pisces- If you’ve been burning the candle at both ends take the time to relax and heal. With Mars and Neptune in your sign you could be feeling both tired and guilty about it, especially with the Sun, Jupiter, and Mercury all going through your House of Public Image making you think you have to be a Man (or Woman) for All Seasons. Without necessarily saying “bah humbug” you could manage to have a low key approach to the season and still have a lot of fun. Listen to Venus as she transits your House of Philosophy and aligns with solid Saturn; ”Moderation my child, moderation.”