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ChatEntropy by T.C. Eisele Free Excerpt

ChatEntropy is a spiritual noir tale that takes place during the COVID pandemic, when internet chat rooms were providing a valuable social outlet for a quarantined population. 

The story follows ‘Nameless’, who discovers a curious new online site called ChatEntropy, after which he mysteriously disappears following a series of bizarre metaphysical encounters. His disappearance arouses the interest of the property managing agent, Marsh, who then tracks ChatEntropy to the dark web, where he attempts to investigate the circumstances around Nameless vanishing. 

Drawing on the EVP phenomenon from the 1970s that investigated spiritual activity in electro-magnetic waves, ChatEntropy is part-detective story/part-grimoire, and a wild ride into the notion of the Dark Web being a portal into multiple dimensions. 

PART I:

Friday Night

1

Like the blink of an eye or a sigh, another week of his life had passed without much to distinguish it from the others.

Halfway through a bottle of wine, he sits at his laptop mulling over the depressing irony of preparing to surf on the internet after 8 hours of teleworking at home.

“What else is there to do?” he thinks. “This fucking pandemic has us all trapped.”

Following a sip of wine, he stares at the waiting keypad. “So, which virtual reality do I want to run away to this weekend?”

After routinely typing out “online chat sites” in the search bar, he scrolls down the list until an unfamiliar one catches his eye. 

“ChatEntropy,” he mutters to himself, “What kind of a name is that?”

Upon doing a quick search for the definition of “entropy,” the explanation of randomness seems a welcome alternative to the isolation of being quarantined in his apartment all day, so he clicks the link and waits for a surprise.

The homepage of ChatEntropy is unexpectedly non-descript. In fact, all that’s on the screen is the word “ChatEntropy” in a large, stylized font with “sign up” in a smaller typeface underneath. 

At first, this minimal imagery causes him to assume he might’ve stumbled upon a new porn site. Do I want to roll that way tonight? he thinks to himself.  He’s certainly not adverse to taking the stick shift out for an occasional spin, in fact, he considers it an integral part of his wellness program. Yet there’s something about this site that seems different, darker. 

In the middle of trying to decide what to do, curiosity manages to get the upper hand and he compulsively clicks ‘Sign Up.”

2

“Nothing new so far,” he thinks, after a pop-up window appears on the screen showing fields to type in an email address, username, and password.

He immediately enters one of his emails, yet the username field causes him to pause. 

He considers for a moment what would insinuate entropy, and then, with a giggle, types in the nickname, Nameless.”

After clicking ‘Yes’ on the disclaimer asking if he’s over 18 years of age, the next prompt that appears is a request to connect with the camera in his computer. After he agrees, the screen goes black again until a new screen appears with a button marked ‘Start’ down in the lower right corner.

Sometimes, clicking the cursor on a computer can be as easy as making an impulse buy on Amazon. Other times, it can be as hard as standing on the high board for the first time and looking down at the swimming pool below. Nameless’ mind is hovering somewhere between the two when he whispers, “Fuck it,” and decisively clicks ‘Start’. 

3

Once he’s connected to live chat, Nameless notices the ‘Start’ button suddenly change to ‘Next’.

“Don’t forget, that’s your escape hatch,” he quietly reminds himself. “If there’s anything you don’t want to deal with, just ‘Next’ it.

A moment later, he’s facing a Gen Z e-boy double thumbing their phone. 

“Hey,” says the young man, without looking up from texting. 

“How’s it going?” replies Nameless.

“Sorry,” says the e-boy, as he continues typing like a fiend. “I’m checking to see if any Sheesh influencers are currently on site. That’s where all the snacks would be.”

When he’s done, the e-boy looks at Nameless with a knowing grin. “That’s why we’re here, right? To follow the river of likes to the source.”

“Like Stanley and Livingstone,” replies Nameless.

Apparently not a history buff, the e-boy mutters, “Yeah, whatever,” as he’s distracted by another text. 

After reading the new message, he suddenly announces, “, I gotta bounce. A spot just opened up in a chat with “GenZerious.” 

“Who?” thinks Nameless, as he suddenly finds himself once again looking at a blank screen.

4

Nameless’ next chat buddy is a smiling young man with brown tousled hair.

“How’s it going mate?” he asks, in a crisp British accent.

“It’s going,” answers Nameless.

“Have you been on here long?” 

“Long enough to be ‘next’ed for not being a snack,” replies Nameless, as he takes in the young Jude Law clone in front of him.

“I don’t know,” says the Brit with a smirk. “You look snacky enough for me.”

“I think my previous chat buddy was looking for a she/her.” 

“I wouldn’t penalize you for not being a she/her,” says the young Brit jokingly, “Maybe for not putting a condom over the NJOY wand if we were sharing, but never for not being a woman.”

Not knowing what an “NJOY wand” is, Nameless figures he’d be better off not asking.

“Are you on this site often?” asks the Brit.

“Nope, this is my first time,” 

They both stare at each other.

“So, what are you looking for?” he asks Nameless.

“Not the meaning of life, but not an excuse for it either.”

“Cheers to that” says the Brit. After hesitating, he bluntly adds, “I’m not into the rough stuff. Just about anything else is okay.” 

Before Nameless can reply, the Brit continues. “I’m sorry if I’m being too cheeky, but it’s just so tiring beating around the bush. I usually do Dirty Roulette on Friday night, and those blokes cut right to the chase.”

“No worries,” says Nameless. 

Smiling now like he’s suddenly hit the jackpot; the Brit confidently forges ahead. “The problem with Dirty Roulette is that there’s always the same type of trade on it. Been there, done that, you know?”

When Nameless doesn’t respond, the Brit just keeps going.

Since this site is new, I decided to see what was going on here tonight?”

“Whatever satisfies,” says Nameless.

“And what satisfies you?”

“Well, for starters I’m on team hetero.”

“Are you sure?” says the Brit, with a playful smile. “If there isn’t a bi-curious urge lurking around in you somewhere, then why are we still talking?”

“I talk with men all the time,” replies Nameless. “It’s a human thing.”

“Why don’t we take a look at each other’s junk and then decide if you’d like to do more than just talk?”

After noticing Nameless glance toward the lower right where the ‘Next’ button is, the Brit’s cock-sure expression suddenly changes into a look of mock apology.

“It’s been super cool chit-chatting with you,” he says quickly, “but I really think it would be best if I carried on elsewhere.”

Before Nameless can react, he once again finds himself ‘next’ed.

 5

Nameless’s next chat buddy is a broad-faced, smiling young Mexican dude.

“Hola. Uh, no…Hay-lo,” he says.

“How’s it going?” asks Nameless.

“I sorry. My Ing-lish no good.

“Okay,” replies Nameless, not knowing what else to say.

“You pratica, uh, no…prac-tis with me?”

Before Nameless can respond, the back of a little head with long black hair appears on the screen right in front of the young man’s chest. Looking down at the head of hair, the young man asks, “Que?” and then assists a cute little Mexican girl onto his lap.

“Yo tengo hambre,” she says to the man.

The little girl then turns and looks at Nameless on the screen. “Quien es?” she asks.

Nameless is now looking at two brown smiling faces.

“Mi hija,” explains the young man to Nameless. “Uh, no. My dow-ter,” he says, trying to correct himself in English.

I can be an ugly American or an awkward one, thinks Nameless.

He opts for awkward, which for him means abruptly ‘next’ing someone else for a change. 

“Oh well, adios is adios,” he thinks to himself, as he says the same to the now empty screen in front of him. 

6

Next up is a young black man with corn-rowed hair, expensive shades, and the aplomb of a hit man.

“Whaddup?” he says grimly.

Before Nameless can reply, a raucous voice from somewhere behind the young man shouts, “Y’all come across a honey yet?”

The Dude in shades turns to the voice and shouts back, “Nah.”

“Then move on, blood,” urges the voice, “we need to be partying. No time for nothin else.”

“Chill and let me see what’s shakin’, Aw-ite?” Shades then turns back to Nameless and sullenly asks, “You know where the bitches be on this site?

“Not really,” says Nameless, after which he finds himself once again looking at a blank screen.

7

Not being a stranger to anonymous online chat rooms, Nameless continues to patiently slog through a few more dull, meaningless encounters as he works on the bottle of wine.

After a while, he finally admits to himself out loud, “If I don’t have at least one semi-interesting exchange within the next three turns, I’m outta here. Maybe there’s a good movie on the cable?”

After hitting ‘Start’ again, Nameless finally encounters his first woman. 

With a user name of “Betty,” the 20-something, nubile young beauty in front of him has long, blonde hair, full lips, and a generically pretty face reminiscent of the Betty character from the Archie comics.

Wow, she’s a real cutie, he thinks, as he tries to say hello as nonchalantly as possible.

“Hi” she replies, with a smile like a cheesy tooth whitening advert. “What are you up to tonight?”

“Just enjoying some wine after another week of teleworking,” explains Nameless, raising his glass.

The young lady reaches off screen and brings back a mug that’s holding something steaming. “I’m enjoying a spot of herbal tea,” she says, and giggles.

“To the weekend!” toasts Nameless.

As they each take a sip of their beverage, Nameless tries to check out his new chat partner on the sly.

Very girl-next-door sexy, he thinks to himself. A little ditsy too, but I can work with that.

“So, do you do much online chatting?” she asks.

“From time to time.”

“This is my first time on this site,” she says, “so I wasn’t sure what to expect. It didn’t say very much about what kind of people are on here.”

“I think that’s the point,” replies Nameless. “Each chat is supposed to be a surprise, isn’t it? For better or worse.”

“Well, you’re my very first person and you seem nice. Where are you from?”

“New York.”

“I’ve never been there, but I’ve heard it’s dangerous. Is that true?”

“That depends. Statistically it’s not as dangerous as say, Cincinnati, Ohio.

“Really? I’m from Dayton and I’ve never heard that.”

“I guess it just goes to show how you can’t believe anything the media says.”

“Amen to that,” she replies with a warm smile.

“What brings you here on a Friday night?” asks Nameless.

“I’m not sure. I just felt guided here,” she looks away with an embarrassed smile, “I can’t believe I just said that. Ignore me, I’m a crazy person.”

“That’s okay. What do you mean by guided?”

She looks at him with the suspicion of a little girl. “You’re not making fun of me, are you?”

“Oh no,” replies Nameless. “There’s been plenty of times I’ve done things because of a feeling, or whatever.”

“Really?” she says, with a relieved smile.

“Sure. Go ahead. I’m all ears.”

“I can’t always explain exactly how it works,” she says, with a serious expression, “but deep down inside I always feel like spirit is directing me to wherever I’m supposed to go,” 

“I can believe that,” says Nameless. “In fact, I’m sensing there’s a reason why we’ve met tonight.” 

“Really? That’s great! Maybe our angels were talking together before this?” 

“I must admit, I’m not really very in touch with that kind of stuff,” he says. “Not that I don’t believe in it, I’m just not as sensitive, or attuned, as someone like you.” 

“Thank you,” she replies. I get it from my grandma. She’s had the Archangel Michael appear to hear several times. She’s really amazing. So spiritual.”

“I bet she is.”

After a few more minutes of conversation, the beatific smile that had been plastered across the face of this apparently pleasant young woman unexpectedly changes into something more serious as Nameless breaks for a sip of wine.

“Do you really believe there’s a reason why we’ve met,” she asks.  

“Absolutely,” he replies, “there’s most definitely something at work tonight that’s brought us together.” 

“That’s what my angel is telling me. But they’re also saying there’s something else I need to ask you that’s very important.”

She now stares at him with a set, determined expression.

“Of course,” says Nameless, as he puts down his wine glass and sits back to hear what her angel has on its mind.  

In a voice now suddenly filled with unexpected spiritual fervor, the young blonde challenges Nameless and demands, “Are you willing to accept the Lord Jesus Christ as your personal savior?” 

Feeling both surprised and a bit deflated at the same time, Nameless instinctively maneuvers the cursor toward NEXT and immediately removes her from his screen. 

“No one expects the Spanish Inquisition,” he grumbles to himself, as the site reloads a new chat window.

8

Nameless’ next chat is a balding, round-face, businessman type that looks like he could be the father of the previous blonde. Yet at the same time there is something lurking in the expression behind his wire rim glasses that suggests his thoughts about her would be more lascivious than paternal.

“What are you into?” he asks quietly.

“What do you mean?”

The man leans in a little closer, “You know, what are you into?”

“Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens,” says Nameless glibly.

A humorless laugh dribbles out of the man’s mouth.

“C’mon, why are you on this site?” he asks.

“To meet interesting new friends,” replies Nameless.

“Exactly. What sort of friends? Women? Men? Something else?”

“What if I said something else?”

“Is there an age range you’re looking for?”  asks the Man.

“Well, when you sign up here it says you have to be 18, right?”

“Maybe,” says the Man, grinning like Nameless imagines a rat would.

“Maybe?” replies Nameless, as his face recoils in disgust. “Wow, either this is entrapment, or you’re a fucking pervert.”

“Hey, be cool,” says the Man.

“I don’t think I will,” replies Nameless. “These fingers of mine are itching to make the vice squad my next chat buddy.”

9

As he takes a time out to down what’s left in his wine glass, the idea of watching a movie on Netflix is starting to seem very appealing to Nameless. 

However, after pouring some more vino, he instead moves the cursor on the screen back to ‘Start’. 

Once he’s connected to another chat, Nameless finds that he’s now looking into an empty room. 

“What the fuck is this?” he mutters.

It takes a second for him to realize what he’s looking at, but when he does, Nameless quietly exclaims, “Holy shit!” 

He now starts to look back and forth between what’s on the screen and what’s behind him in his space. 

“That’s my fucking apartment!” he blurts out. “The only thing that’s missing is me!”

For a few confusing moments, Nameless tries to wrap his mind around what’s happening. Yet before he can make sense of anything, the image on his computer screen is suddenly replaced by a Google 404 service message stating, “the site you are looking for cannot be found.”

10

On waking the next morning, Nameless turns over in bed and looks nervously at his computer on the other side of the room.

When the memory of seeing his apartment on the screen the night before pops into his head, he slowly rolls on his back and stares up at the ceiling. 

“That shit was like something out of the horror flick Oculus,” he says quietly to himself. 

After a few more moments of anxious and paranoid reflection, Nameless opts to put the matter out of his head and instead gets up and starts to get ready to go out into the covid world for some essential items. 

“Maybe it was just a combination of the wine and cabin fever,” he thinks, as he stands over the toilet and listens to the water works. 

Once he’s washed and dressed, Nameless heads out for a few hours to wait in the street with his masked neighbors and pick up what he needs from the market and liquor store.

The nearest Trader Joe’s is across town, and as Nameless walks along the deserted Manhattan streets he can’t help but think of the movie “I Am Legend.” 

At least Robert Neville had a dog, he thinks, while noting the absence of anyone else in the immediate vicinity.  

It isn’t until 10 blocks later when he arrives at Trader Joe’s that Nameless finally encounters other humans. The line of masked and socially distanced people waiting outside the store wraps around the block, and it takes over an hour before he gets in.

Once inside the store, it’s like having your own private market. There’s no more than one person in any aisle, no waiting at the checkout, and no idle small talk at the register. As he watches the masked young clerk pack the groceries in silence, Nameless finds himself almost missing the mindless platitudes he would have exchanged with this young fellow in the past

By contrast, the liquor store is a much faster errand. The line is far shorter, and when it’s Nameless’ turn an employee asks what he wants, takes his credit card, and returns a couple of minutes later with the bottles of wine and a receipt.

The remainder of his walk home through the deserted streets passes like a daydream, and as Nameless enters his apartment building he reflects on the journey. Minus the people that were waiting outside of Trader Joe’s and the liquor store, he calculates that he only passed about 5 people during the whole trip. 

“I Am Legend, the prequel,” he thinks, as he unlocks the door to his apartment and enters.

Later, after dinner and a few drinks, he starts looking online for a movie. As he scrolls over the picks on Netflix, Nameless’ mind instead returns to what he saw the night before on ChatEntropy.

“That could not have been my apartment,” he thinks, yet another part of him insists on playing devil’s advocate and counters, “You know that fucking place looked exactly like your apartment.” 

Some of the mysteries we become obsessed with are paths to self-destruction, yet others, no matter how frightening or uncomfortable, are the pathways that lead us to our destiny. As Nameless turns off the TV and decides to fire up his laptop, he’s not only compulsively hoping to find that room again from last night, he’s also looking to reclaim a sense of normalcy that lately has become conspicuous in its absence. 

  11

If Nameless had thought that going back into ChatEntropy was going to be like Neo taking the red pill in the Matrix, his first chat puts an end to that notion.

“Are you a patriot?” demands a white dude in a MAGA hat who has a thick beard, menacing eyes, and a neck like a linebacker. 

“Are you Q?” asks Nameless.

With a fierce look, the man suddenly holds up a Ruger SR9 automatic pistol and points it at the screen. 

“You better run now you fucking woke, lib-tard, child-molesting cocksucker! The Revolution is coming and traitors like you are gonna suffer the wrath of real Americans!”

12

While wondering if that MAGA dude actually thought he could shoot through the screen, Nameless is suddenly confronted with a new chat buddy in the form of a strange looking yet fetching young Asian woman.

“Hello,” she breathes, with her eyes communicating a mixture of raw sex and cabaret comedy.

“Hi,” replies Nameless.

“I’ve been waiting to encounter a handsome young man like you” she says, gently biting her voluptuous bottom lip with some very pearly white teeth.

“Aren’t you a sweet talker?” counters Nameless.

“I’m sweet in a lot of ways.”

“I bet. The darker the berry, the sweeter the juice.”

“Aren’t you a funny one! You know intelligent people really turn me on. I’m what you would call a sapiosexual. Do you know what that is?”

After hesitating a moment, Nameless smiles broadly at her and then says very slowly and deliberately, “Fib-o-na-cci sequence.”

“Ooh, I love it,” she giggles.

Despite his initial intention to only focus on finding that mystery room from last night, Nameless can’t help but be turned on by this young lady’s Lorna Lust routine.

“I have a question,” she says, with a sly smile.

“And what would that be?” asks Nameless.

“Could you please empty your pockets for me?”

“I’d love to, but right now my pockets are already empty.”

“Could you please check and make sure? 

At first, he hesitates, but when she says, “Feel around in there for a little bit, maybe you’ll find something unexpected?” he decides to go all in.

At that point, the Woman tilts her screen down to reveal her slightly open bathrobe that offers a glimpse of her firm, golden skin between its folds. Inspired, Nameless starts to search in his pockets and neighboring anatomy with a deepening enthusiasm.

“I don’t see your hands,” she says. “Does that mean you’re feeling around those pockets?”

“Perhaps.”

“Per-haps?” She giggles. “I bet you’ve discovered you have a roll of quarters down there, don’t you?”

“I think I could change a few bills for you.”

“I bet you could. But before you do, I’d like to show you something that might just send those quarters rolling all over the floor.”

She now stands up so that the width of her hips fills the screen. 

“Are you shaved down there?” asks Nameless.

“Why don’t you see for yourself,” she says, fully parting her robe to reveal a totally manscaped and very erect cock.

As the shock of what he’s looking at scorches his retina, Nameless desperately scrambles with the cursor to try and click ‘Next’.

“Hey baby boy,” taunts the person on the other side of the screen, “take a walk on the wild side. You know you want to.” 

*** To read more, go to the Books page, select “ChatEntropy”, and follow the links for either Hidden Hand Press or Amazon.

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The Buddha Of East 85th Street

by T.C. Eisele

                                                                1

I first started reading about Buddhism to pass the time whenever I had to sit in the car to do alternate side of the street parking. If you’re not familiar with alternate side parking, it refers to the days and times when car owners in New York City are required to move their vehicles so the street sweepers can clean. It’s basically something every New Yorker detests, because even if the sweeper doesn’t show up (and sometimes they don’t) you’re still required to sit there for 90 minutes or risk getting a ticket.

But getting back to Buddhism, I began my involvement with that after I started chatting online with this hot Asian chick. It’s all she ever wanted to talk about, because according to her, she was sick and tired of dating ignorant, unenlightened men who just wanted to keep her stuck on the wheel of samsara with them.

While her and I ultimately never clicked, the psychological elegance of Buddhist thought (especially Zen) stuck with me. In fact, though I never joined a temple (or even a study group) for a long time I contemplated the 4 Noble Truths whenever I could and was even known to sit in full lotus position, burn incense, and meditate from time to time.

One thing that has always impressed me about Buddhism, is that the thoughtfulness it nurtures can help to expand your overall awareness of life. The Buddhist’s would call this mindfulness, and it eventually ended up helping me to discover a real Buddha in my own life.

Oddly enough, it all began with alternate side of the street parking.

                                                              2

For several years I have resided on east 85th street between First and Second Avenue. It’s generally a nice block, containing mostly walk-up apartments along with a couple of small restaurants and a neighborhood Irish bar. It also happens to be a direct crosstown artery leading into Central Park, so even though where I lived was generally quiet, there was also a steady stream of traffic day and night heading over to the Westside.

Being a car owner in New York City helps you to notice a lot of things that non-drivers don’t. The most obvious being empty parking spaces. Even when I’m just walking around, I always make a mental note of any empty parking space I happened to see. That’s because if you’ve ever had to park in Manhattan on a regular basis, you learn to quickly see that some parking spots are much better than others. I also take special notice of how cars are parked, especially the ones that are in front of or behind my car. It mostly has to do with how much room they’ve left me to get out, though I’m also a connoisseur of the ability to get into a tight space.

 I don’t recall exactly when it was, but at one point I started to consistently notice a particular car on the block.

It was a classic Oldsmobile, so it kind of stood out among the newer cars. I don’t know very much about cars, but I would guess this one was from the 1970’s with its prominent hood ornament, oversized square lines, and plush, faux-leather seating. It was also a sort of hunter green color that you don’t see much anymore. The most important thing I noticed about this car though was that it was always perfectly parked. It was never more than a few inches away from the curb, and it was always absolutely equidistant from the car in front and the one in back. I’m not exaggerating. This damn car was always impeccably parked.

Another thing that piqued my interest about it was that I had no idea who the owner was. It seemed the only times I ever saw this car was when it was parked, and it was always in a great spot.

Yet despite the unusual fascination this vehicle seemed to hold for me, there was one thing about it that I was absolutely sure of. Whoever owned this car was an adept when it came to parking in New York City.  

                                                                3

The day I finally got to see the owner of this mythic vehicle was when I went out one morning to do alternate side of the street parking and that Olds was sitting right in front of my car.

I was particularly surprised to see it because I had gone out the previous night at about 9p.m to get a bottle of wine and there was a different car parked in that spot. People in this neighborhood don’t usually move their cars that late, so I couldn’t help but be curious as to how the Oldsmobile got in front of me.

On alternate side parking days, I always tried to get out there a little before the 9a.m start time. That’s because a lot of people usually move their cars just before 9, thus making it a lot easier to upgrade to a better spot.

I was already in a pretty good spot that morning, so there was nothing else to do except warm up the engine and wait for the sweeper to arrive. It was at precisely the stroke of 9 when a rather portly fellow dressed in a faded gray baseball cap, lightweight fatigue jacket, green khakis, and beige hiking shoes sauntered up to the Olds in front of me and unlocked the door.

Behind his silver, wire rimmed glasses that rode on the end of his nose were a pair of heavy -lidded eyes, along with a generally placid expression that was accented by a very subtle half smirk. Over the next few minutes, I watched him closely (though pretending not to) as he started the car, idled it for a bit, and then got out to begin methodically rearranging some things in the back seat.

It was about 9:15 when he squeezed back into the driver’s seat, but rather than beginning his vigil for the street sweeper like the rest of us, he instead slowly pulled out of the spot and drove away. 

                                                             4 

It must have been a week or so later when I saw him again. He was sitting on a bench in the small public area in front of a high-rise on the corner of 85th and 2nd . It was mid-afternoon, and as he sipped on a Starbucks, he appeared calm, still, and inscrutable.

As I walked by, my mind recalled how during that week I had noticed his car parked in a couple of different choice spots on the block. As usual, in every instance that Oldsmobile was perfectly positioned, with its wheels never more than a few inches from the curb.

Over the ensuing weeks I would see him from time to time, either in that sitting area on 85th and 2nd, or in the street café outside the Starbucks on 85th and 1st. He was always dressed in the same clothes and sipping a coffee with that calm, beatific smirk.

                                                             5

As the seasons changed and the fall slowly darkened into winter, I never failed to see that green Oldsmobile parked perfectly somewhere on the block.

One night after being out late, I was coming home from the train station when I unexpectedly spotted the green Oldsmobile parked in front of a fire hydrant in the middle of the block. The light was on inside the car, and I could see the driver reading a book.

Why is he sitting in his car in the middle of a cold winter night reading? Had something gone wrong in his life so that he was forced to live out of his car? There were people like that in this neighborhood. My interest was piqued, so when I arrived at the front door of my building, I lingered for a bit in the outer vestibule so I could spy on that green Olds and see what the driver was up to.

I didn’t have to wait long before something curious happened. Out of nowhere, a man came walking down the street and got in a car that was parked a couple of doors away. Within seconds, he started the car and immediately pulled out. Wow, I thought to myself, that’s unusual. People don’t often surrender their parking spots so late on a winter night unless it’s an emergency or something.

Almost immediately afterwards, the headlights of the Oldsmobile went on. I watched with great interest as it slowly pulled out and inched its way down the street, like some great meandering beast, until it came at last to a stop next to the car in front of the parking space that had just been vacated. Then, with luxurious and mindful slowness, that Olds backed its way methodically into the vacant space. It was a perfect parallel park, and I was mesmerized by it. To tell you the truth, I don’t know how long I stood there after the driver locked up and left, but it was more than a few minutes. The way he parked had been masterful. I had never seen anything so slow, so powerful, so precise.

After a while, I eventually exited my building and slowly crossed the street to where the Oldsmobile was parked. Upon walking through the space between the Olds and the car behind it, I looked down and marveled at how the wheels of that Hunter green chariot were no more than 3 inches from the damn curb.

It was then that I was struck by a very strong feeling. It wasn’t entirely clear, and I dared not give voice to it for fear of speaking a blasphemy, but a notion came upon me at that moment like the unexpected hoot of an owl on a winter night.

As if the voice of a spirit were whispering to me in that cold winter wind, I could clearly hear the word “Buddha” being softly enunciated in the darkness under the streetlights.

                                                               6

That spring I began to see the driver of the Oldsmobile more often, yet the circumstances I saw him in now where much different than in the past. Previously, he had always been alone and contemplative. Now, he was rarely alone. I would often see him in the outdoor seating area outside the Starbucks on the corner of 85th and 1st, where he would be talking with others. He would usually be the one speaking, though occasionally someone else would talk, like they were asking a question, but then he’d resume his lecture as the others gave him their full attention.

There was also the ongoing paradox of my never having seen this great master participate in alternate side of the street parking. At first, I thought this was unusual, but as of late, I instead began to see it as an added testament to his power. He parked late at night on the spiritual plane rather than in the daytime streets the rest of us toiled in. The proof of this was that he always had a great spot, and that Oldsmobile was never more than several inches away from the curb.

                                                             7

As the Summer began to slowly move into the Fall, the Buddha and his disciples were a daily fixture in the Starbucks outdoor café. I also began to feel that for some unknown reason he was beginning to notice me. Where before he had seemed completely oblivious to my existence, now he appeared to occasionally direct his calm blue eyes in my direction.

A slowdown at work was allowing me more spare time than ever before, so that now it was possible to immerse myself more deeply in my Buddhist studies. Earlier it had just been something I did to try and impress a chick or kill time when I had to sit in the car on alternate side parking days. Now though, I was meditating daily to cleanse my energy body and deepen my connection with the supreme life force.

I was also starting to delve more deeply into the Zen school of Buddhist thought. This was a profound shift for me. I was extremely impressed when I first read that Zen had originally been developed by the Samurai class in feudal Japan. It was because as warriors they didn’t have hours and days to spend in deep meditation and contemplative study. They needed a path to spirituality that took into consideration the fact that they potentially faced a violent death at any given moment. A Samurai was forced to live on the precipice. Theirs was not the way of begging or studying sutras, but the way of the sword.

That’s why I also began to study martial arts in my apartment. I bought videos and spent endless hours perfecting my forms and testing my endurance by fasting and going with as little sleep as possible. As a way of vigilance training, I would even locate the Buddha’s Oldsmobile and then observe him for hours as he practiced his parking Zen late at night.

Eventually, I became his guardian on the spiritual parking plane.

                                                             8

Then one day it all changed. Suddenly the Buddha’s small group was gone. Once again, I began to see him all alone sipping his coffee as if he were in a different dimension from everyone else.

At first, I didn’t know what to make of this. Then I started to think that maybe the time had come for him to transcend this mortal plane. Perhaps his teaching here was done, and it was time for him to become one with the Tao?

As his parking guardian, I wondered if I would be required to make the journey with him? Or was I merely supposed to help him transcend? I began to worry, both for his transition, and for whatever my subsequent responsibilities would be.

I struggled with this dilemma for many days until I finally came across something in my readings that showed me what I needed to do.

A 9th century Buddhist Sage named Linji Yixuan told his disciples, “If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him.”

I knew instantly that I had lived a past life with Master Linji and through this omen he was telling me what I had to do. I would assist the Parking Buddha’s transcendence as an instrument of his divine mission. After that, I would then be free to follow my own path through the mysteries of the 10,000 things.

That night, I waited and let the Buddha park his Oldsmobile for the last time.

At the sacred moment, a raven sang out from a bare branch of the tree the car was parked under and, in response, I sent the Buddha of East 85th street to his rightful place in eternity.

                                                             9

“Thank you for sharing that with me,” said the Psychiatrist with a gentle smile on his face.

I bowed my head in acknowledgement. “No, thank you Doctor. It’s nice to be able to speak with someone who understands.”

With a faint smile of acknowledgement on his lips, the Doctor looked at me through his wire-rimmed glasses and calmly replied. “Our session is over for now, but for your next visit I would really like to try and get deeper into talking about the specific act you committed, and why you’re here.”

“We may speak of all sorts of causes,” I replied, “but we will never know the one ultimate cause.”

“Then we will try the best we can,” he said.

My legs and lower back were now starting to feel stiff, so I attempted to adjust myself in the chair, yet the usual samurai-like smoothness of my movements was being mocked by the tinkling of the shackles attached to my wrists and ankles.

“How long will I have to be restrained like this?” I asked.

“These sessions are designed to help you,” said the Doctor, “but you are here because you have committed a violent act. As a result, you are considered a risk to yourself and others. For as long as you are incarcerated in this facility you will have to wear those restraints every time you leave your cell.”

When the Guard arrives to transport me back to my cell, I smile at the Doctor and bid him a heartfelt, “Adieu.” When he smiles back and replies, “Until next time,” I can’t help but notice how his bespectacled face has the exact same half-smirk as that of my late Buddha.

It is then that a new destiny suddenly becomes clear to me. I now know my purpose for being in this place. I must guard another Buddha until it is time for his transition.  I will watch over this Doctor until the Ascended Master Linji shows me how to proceed.

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WHAT CAN JALEN BRUNSON’S SATURN RETURN SHOW YOU ABOUT YOUR OWN?

If you were born during the periods of April 7, 1996 – June 8, 1998 or October 26, 1998 – March 1, 1999 then you have Saturn in the sign of Aries. What does that mean? And since Saturn has now returned to the place it was when you were born what can you expect? Let’s take a look.

It takes Saturn approximately 28 years to circle the zodiac and return to the place it was when you were born. Saturn is the planet associated with structure, rules, and regulations. It also governs our daily responsibilities, long-term obligations, organizations, teams, companies, and countries.

Saturn’s nickname is “The Teacher,” so when you think of this planetary energy imagine both the best and worst teachers you’ve had in your life. Whether these guides imparted their lessons to you via nurturing or intimidation, the overall point was that you would learn something and hopefully benefit from that knowledge in a wider sense.

Just like every teacher is different, so is every learning experience, and every Saturn return. Likewise, becoming adept at whatever it is you’re trying to learn involves not only mastering technical skills but also developing personal mastery in how you approach the task at hand.

Therefore, a Saturn return can be about both improving your technique at something, as well as developing the proper mental attitude to approach the challenges of life.

Another important thing to keep in mind about the energy of a Saturn return is that aside from its disciplinary aspects, this teaching planet will also reward those who face their responsibilities with effort and dedication.

To better illustrate this last point (which is the hidden secret in every Saturn return) let’s look at how Saturn was affecting Jalen Brunson during the recent Knicks NBA championship run.

Based on the unique day, time, location, and year of his birth, Jalen Brunson has Saturn in the sign of Aries in the 8th House. While Saturn represents discipline and patience, the sign of Aries (ruled by Mars) is about strength and aggressiveness, and the 8th house governs death, transformation, and any resources one shares with others. Brunson’s initial Saturn placement is therefore about the commitment, effort, responsibility, and sharing he is willing to bring to the activities, organizations, and people in his life.

Of course, it’s important to remember that the day, time, year, and location of each reader’s birth will influence the unique way in which Saturn will affect them.

Now let’s look at the natal aspects to Saturn in Jalen Brunson’s chart.

Uranus in Aquarius in his 5th house of creativity sextiles his Saturn, while Pluto in Sagittarius in his foundational 4th house trines it. These dual aspects represent not only being open to the lessons of life but also possessing the strength and flexibility to turn adversity into opportunity.

Brunson’s natal Saturn is also in opposition to Mercury in Libra in the first house. This requires him to be both adaptable and focused (the proverbial walk and chew gum at the same time test). There is also a square between his natal Saturn and Jupiter in Capricorn at the end of his 5th house of creativity. Where Uranus at the beginning of the 5th house helps him to be flexible, Jupiter at end of that same house in the super serious sign of Capricorn (the sign ruled by Saturn) is what drives  him to go above and beyond the call of duty and take a leadership role in any group or situation he is committed to.

In the approach to his Saturn return year, Jalen Brunson set himself up for success by utilizing all the above-mentioned Saturn aspects he was born with. This included not only committing himself to an accelerated regimen to hone his personal playing skills, but on a more selfless level he also agreed to take a $113 million pay cut to allow the Knicks the extra capital to acquire the necessary players for the team to excel. By seeing his personal goals and those of the team as being intrinsically one and the same, Brunson simultaneously fulfilled both the individual and collective requirements Saturn demands of us all.

Jalen Brunson’s actual Saturn return occurred on April 3, 2026, yet because Saturn is not a fast moving planet, this return was still going on during the NBA finals that occurred more than 2 months later. During this time, the planet known as “the Teacher” simultaneously sextiled transiting Pluto in Aquarius while also moving into a conjunction with transiting Neptune in Aries. Pluto was positioned in his 6th house of work, and both returning Saturn and Neptune were in his 8th house of shared resources and major transformation. The conjunction to Neptune represented the confusion (and illusion) that the early leads the Spurs held in every game of the series would end up determining the outcome. However, the sextile to transformative Pluto helped Brunson (and the Knicks) make whatever adjustments were necessary to ultimately win 4 out of 5 games in the series. This victorious outcome was also aided significantly by transiting Uranus (the planet of the unexpected) as it passed Brunson’s mid-heaven shortly after his Saturn return and entered the sign of Gemini that governs his 10th house of career and public image.

As a result, rather than fulfilling the standard prediction of lessons and setbacks that some associate with a Saturn return, Jalen Brunson instead earned a reward for his commitment to the details and preparation he engaged in ahead of time. Ultimately, the message here for all of us is that while a Saturn return is commonly thought to bring restrictions and/or denial, these are downsides that usually come about when one has not met the full range of their responsibilities leading up to the return. If you do the work like Jalen Brunson did, Saturn can be a very benevolent archetype that will reward your efforts accordingly

To find out what lessons your Saturn return has in store for you, as well as how you can best approach these challenges, simply fill out the Contact Form on the main menu and I’ll get back to you to schedule a complete astrological (and tarot) reading.

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Quantum Dice for Meditation & Divination

Everyone is familiar with the small, cube-shaped objects known as dice that are used in board games and have anywhere from 1 to 6 dots illustrated on each side.

What Are Quantum Dice?

Quantum Dice is a name I use to refer to a type of café au lait colored Jasper crystal with small black spots that can be used for meditation and to sharpen the mind for divination. More commonly known as Dalmatian Jasper because of their resemblance to that type of dog’s fur, I renamed these small, six-sided polished stones Quantum Dice because I thought they looked like a surreal, inter-dimensional pair of dice that might appear in a painting by Salvador Dalí.

How Do Quantum Dice Work?

Quantum Dice can be used as a meditation tool to both calm the mind and improve your intuitive abilities. For the best effect, you should have a pair of these small stones. My method for using them is to hold one in each hand during my meditation practice (or two in whichever hand you prefer).

While holding these Quantum Dice, you should perform whatever your usual ritual is for clearing your mind of all extraneous thoughts. The Jasper stone is particularly well-suited for this type of use as its unique powers include the following:

  • Stimulates a sense of lightheartedness that can help to unwind an overly analytical mind.
  • Makes it easier to maintain a relaxed state in order to free the mind to create and improvise at its highest capacity.
  • Promotes a healthy sense of ambition to receive and learn.
  •  It is also effective for replacing the negative mindset of needing to prove one is good enough.
  • Meditating with Quantum Dice can also help to maintain patience and determination when facing either inner or outer challenges.

After a session of meditating with Quantum Dice, I have found that my intuition is often much sharper and more accurate, especially when it comes to using divination systems like Tarot, Runes, or Astrology.

How Can You Get Quantum Dice? If the benefits of this stone sound like something you’d like to experience, a pair of Quantum Dice can be acquired for as little as $12 to assist you in rolling a jackpot when it comes to strengthening and developing your state of mind and intuition.

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What Is A Psychic Reading?

The act of going to a special individual for spiritual and/or esoteric guidance has existed in one form or another since ancient times. Depending on the cultural setting, this could have included activities as varied as making a pilgrimage to the oracle at Delphi in Ancient Greece, consulting a tribal Shaman, or visiting the local Witch on the outskirts of town. Yet regardless of the setting, exactly who are these special people we ask to impart to us their visions and wisdom? In what ways are they different from the rest of us? How do they manage to acquire the insights they are sharing? What does it mean to be Psychic?

The human brain is perhaps the most profound Machine in the Universe, but where do our thoughts come from? We each possess consciousness, but what is our awareness made of? Modern Physiology will tell us that we use only 10% of our brain’s capacity, which would then mean that 90% of our mind’s potential remains dormant within us. If that is the case, then perhaps in the same way that the genetics for an entire tree can exist within a tiny acorn, maybe all the secrets of the universe can also be explained within the untapped portions of the human mind? If this is true, then maybe the Gurus and Psychics we go to for insights are really nothing more than normal people like ourselves who have found a way to activate more than 10% of their innate intelligence? Maybe the late Psychologist and Philosopher Timothy Leary was right when he said, “The Brain is God”?

Clairvoyance, clairaudience, and clairsentience, or the abilities to see, hear, or perceive expanded realities and non-ordinary states of being are among the sorts of powers commonly considered Psychic. Yet the relative truth of these abilities is extremely difficult to verify, or even comprehend in terms of conventional understanding. To the general public, the popular idea of a Psychic is someone dressed up like a gypsy or a witch who predicts the future using Tarot Cards and a crystal ball. However, if one can manage to put such stereotypes aside, the actual truth is that real Psychics, while in possession of one or more of the aforementioned abilities, are also often highly trained individuals in an Esoteric/Occult sense who are capable of offering valuable insights and guidance to those who are in psychological or spiritual crisis.

Because of its counseling-like format, a legitimate Psychic Reading can sometimes be looked upon as a form of Psychotherapy, yet the distinction should be made that a Reading is not Psychotherapy.

During a psychic session, the Reader will use their paranormal abilities to cut directly to the chase and provide the client with immediate insights to digest. On the other hand, therapy encourages a Client to confess their fears and neuroses to the Practitioner over an extended period of time. As a result, during a session, a psychotherapist will mostly listen and occasionally direct the client with a comment or leading question that is designed to help the subject arrive at their own epiphanies.

In my work as a Psychic Counselor, I do not consider the service I offer to be a long term one. If I have done my job properly, then a client does not need to see me more than once or twice a year except under certain circumstances. That means once a Reading is over, it is the client’s responsibility to continue exploring what was revealed in the session and do the daily work necessary for behavioral transformation. Where therapy differs is that a patient will return on a weekly basis for follow-up sessions that are designed to guide, shape, and direct their ongoing growth and transformation.

That means the essential difference between a Psychic Reading and Psychotherapy would be that a Reading opens a door for the client, while Therapy is designed to help the individual adjust over time to the new room they have chosen to enter.

Another important matter regarding Psychic Readings is the difference between Psychic abilities and Spiritual evolution.

I have been talking about what it means to be Psychic, but what does it mean to be Spiritual? Over the course of my career as a Reader, I have come to believe that being Spiritual means accepting that everything you encounter in life is necessary for your evolution. Such an understanding can be arrived at in any number of ways, thus the famous saying, “Paths are many, the truth is one.”

Another common misunderstanding is that Psychic abilities are synonymous with Spiritual understanding, when in fact it is often the opposite. Once a Spiritual perspective has been developed according to the inner work that is required in most esoteric traditions, then Psychic Powers usually develop as a matter of course. On the other hand, there are also individuals who have been blessed with natural Psychic abilities that end up becoming nothing more than performers or hustlers looking only to profit from their talents without ever considering any sort of ethical or spiritual foundation. The danger with such common opportunism is that unless one’s Psychic gifts are practiced with humility and a concern for the general welfare, blinding arrogance and vanity are often the result. With this in mind, it is therefore important for a quality Psychic Reading to always include a substantial amount of ethical teaching, compassionate understanding, and good common sense as a reflection of the Reader’s Spiritual Maturity.

The next matter I would like to discuss concerns the negative or superstitious aspects that conflate Psychic Readings with evil forces.

Occasionally, I am approached by people that tell me another psychic has said they are cursed. I usually explain to these individuals that anyone who would tell them that is a Con Artist, not a Psychic, and the whole thing is nothing more than a scam to hustle a fee for getting rid of the curse.

While the preceding might sound simple enough to anyone reading this, why would otherwise intelligent people believe such nonsense? Unfortunately, many people who go for readings are doing so for the wrong reasons. Going to a Psychic to deal with fears about the future, or hoping one’s problems can be made to magically disappear is asking for trouble. That kind of desperation allows any Charlatan posing as a Psychic to exploit the situation by suggesting that dark and malevolent forces rather than personal responsibility are at the root of what is occurring. Needless to say, Readers who prey on people in this fashion are criminals and need to be dealt with accordingly. The problem though is that by the time a Client comes to me about something like this they are either totally freaked out, or too embarrassed to want to do anything about it. As a result, our subsequent session usually ends up focusing on how they can forgive themselves for being so naïve.

Another type of unfortunate situation that can exist in a Reading is when a Psychic is willing to tell a Client whatever they want to hear in order to take their money. The most common example of this is when someone can’t let go of a romantic partner and the Reader will have them returning for session after session, assuring that the individual they are asking about is really their soul mate and the relationship is destined to have a happy ending. Of course, this is the worst sort of manipulation and often ends with either the client eventually catching on (if they don’t run out of money first) or with the Reader ironically becoming annoyed by the neurotic behavior they have agreed to indulge.

Though it has pained me to mention these negative aspects of my Profession, I have done so only because I believe it needs to be known that going for a Psychic Reading is very much a situation of  “let the buyer beware.” On the other hand, I also believe there are many honorable practitioners out there and it is entirely possible to receive an enlightening reading from a legitimate Psychic if one is willing to do their research and ask around. As a Reader, I have built my practice based on referrals, believing that a recommendation from a common trusted source creates a safe guard for myself as well as for those I work with.

If you’re interested in getting a psychic reading, make sure to do your research, trust your own intuition, and ask around for a referral.

Hopefully, we will meet each other soon.

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Original Face

Hi kids!

Here to let you know that a short play I’ve written titled “Original Face” is now up at “Fleas on the Dog Magazine.”  Follow the link below to get your drama fix for the day…….

But first, here’s a quick synopsis of what it’s about:

Have you ever tried to meditate? In “Original Face” Tom and Tom’s Mind grapple for mastery of the moment in this short absurdist drama about what goes on in our heads when we try to break free of ourselves.

Link:

https://img1.wsimg.com/blobby/go/9a0949f4-1d2a-4a7c-b9fb-a96b9b6bd861/downloads/PL_19%20_Original%20Face_%20by%20TC%20Eisele.pdf?ver=1636934634203

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Thirty-two Paths to Wellness (The Tree of Life as a Healing Matrix)

 Overview

 The purpose of this essay is to demonstrate how the Qabalistic Tree of Life combined with the symbolism of the Tarot and Astrology can be utilized as a diagnostic tool for healing.

Western Esoteric Philosophy

 The Western Esoteric Method, sometimes referred to as Hermetic Philosophy or “Magick,” is a mystical system that mixes the symbolism of the Hebrew Qabalah with the divination systems of Tarot and Astrology. It is hard to say where this method originated from or who might be responsible for its creation, but it first came to public attention in the early 1600’s during a period known as “The Rosicrucian Enlightenment when certain arcane documents revealed how the symbolism of the Tarot, Astrology, and some of Alchemy fit perfectly into the basic template of Qabalistic Philosophy known as “The Tree of Life.”

The Tree of Life

Consisting of ten symbolic spheres or energy vortices connected by 22 pathways, The Tree of Life is a symbolic map illustrating the basic concepts underlying the Hebrew Mystical teachings known as “The Qabalah.” (See following diagram).

On a macrocosmic level, the ancient Hebrew Adepts considered the Tree of Life to be a theoretical representation of the universe. On a microcosmic level it was referred to as the body of Adam Kadmon or “The Heavenly Man,” whereby it represented a prototype for a perfect human being created in the image and likeness of God. With the anthropomorphic ideal of Adam Kadmon in mind, it is my theory that the Tree of Life (including the Tarot and Astrology) can be applied to the human body just like the Acupuncture map of Chinese Medicine in order to reveal the underlying esoteric and/or spiritual factors at work in human health.

For the sake of clarity, I will begin by  explaining how this method works with the Tarot. Afterwards, once the general mechanics of my system have been outlined,  I will then demonstrate how it works using the symbolism of Astrology.

The Tarot

Comprised of 78 cards, the traditional Tarot deck is divided into 2 sections, the Minor Arcana totaling 56 cards and the Major Arcana totaling 22.

The 56 cards of the Minor Arcana are subsequently divided into 4 suits that each relate to one of the 4 symbolic elements of Hermetic Philosophy, namely Wands or Fire, Cups or Water, Swords or Air, and Pentacles or Earth. Each of these suits in turn contains cards numbered from 1-10 as well as 4 court cards (King, Queen,  Knight, and Page). Traditionally the numbered cards of the Minor Arcana are assigned in numerical order to the 10 spheres of the Tree of Life, while the court cards are assigned as follows; the Kings are placed in the second sphere, the Queens are placed in the third, the Knights in the sixth, and the Pages in the tenth.

The 22 cards of the Major Arcana are not directly connected with the spheres of the Tree, but are instead assigned in numerical order to the 22 pathways, beginning with “The Fool 0” in the 11thpath and ending with “The World XXI” in the 32nd. Below is a diagram illustrating all of these placements.

Going back now to what I previously mentioned about applying the Tree of Life to the human body, what follows is a diagram of the Tree with its subsequent Tarot associations superimposed over a generic human form.

When applying the Tree of Life to the body, it is important to keep in mind that the diagram on the printed page is a mirror image and must be reversed for it to correctly correspond to your own body. For example, it can be observed in the preceding diagram that the 5thsphere would be on your left side from the perspective of looking at the diagram, however, the 5thsphere is traditionally associated with the right shoulder, hence the need to reverse the map when applying it to your body. Aside from the optics just cited, another reason to reverse the diagram is that if you don’t then you are effectively saying that the energy of God or the “Heavenly Ideal” is something separate from you as an individual. By reversing the image you are essentially acknowledging the body of Adam Kadmon to be your own and thus accepting responsibility for being a Co-Creator with the Universe rather than merely a product of it.

The Method

 Before explaining how to use the Tarot in the Tree of Life as a diagnostic tool, I would first like to make clear that what I am about to share is not intended to be a replacement for health care by a trained professional. What I am presenting is a different way of thinking about health and disease in order to reveal how sometimes physical symptoms can actually be driven by psychological issues that exist on a deeper, more esoteric level of consciousness than we are commonly aware of.

I would also like to point out that in my experience the following exercises are best performed with an actual deck of Tarot Cards rather than a book. For that reason I would suggest that the reader purchase a deck of cards. I use the classic Waite/Smith deck because to my mind it connects the best with the mystical symbolism of the Qabalah. The bottom line though is that one should buy whatever deck they feel personally connected to.

In my opinion the best way to start using this system would be to first try it out on your self. After all, we each know our own pain more intimately than anyone else could. To begin, find a quiet place where you will not be disturbed. If you have not committed the placements of the Tarot within the Tree of Life to memory, then it might be a good idea to have a copy of the Tree nearby for easy reference. Next, you will want to enter into a short meditation. If you already practice some form of meditative exercise such as yoga or zazen, then using whatever you’re familiar with will be fine. If you are completely new to all of this then I would suggest learning “The Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram, “ a basic Magickal exercise that is both short and effective for clearing yourself as well as the space you are in of any unwanted or “negative” energy. Instructions for the Pentagram Ritual can be obtained either by doing a search online or consulting my first book entitled “Modern Magickal Keys.”

Once you have become sufficiently relaxed and focused, the next step will be to contemplate any imbalance or pain you are experiencing. After you have identified your discomfort, it will then be necessary to pinpoint its relative location on the Tree of Life. When doing this it is important to keep in mind that the area you’ve identified on your body might not fall exactly on a specific pathway or sphere in the Tree of Life. If this is the case, then find the nearest pathway or sphere to your area of discomfort. If the area in question is situated at the junction of more than one pathway, or perhaps includes both a sphere and a pathway, then simply take into consideration all the corresponding Tarot Cards. If a sphere is involved, it will be necessary to either muscle test or use a pendulum to determine which of the four Tarot suits applies to the number card associated with that particular sphere. For example, if your left shoulder hurts then it will be necessary to determine whether its is the four of wands, cups, swords, or pentacles.

At this point, you have now obtained a Tarot reading about your body that can include anywhere from one to several cards. If more than one card is involved, make sure to take your time and meditate on the images that have come up. The idea behind a divination system like the Tarot is that it is supposed to induce you to go within for answers; therefore, don’t be impatient. Keep in mind that everything our socialization and education has taught us would lead one to believe an exercise of this sort is a waste of time, but don’t buy into that! Another important thing to consider is that if you’re not accustomed to using your intuition then it would be unreasonable to think that it would emerge fully developed the first time you called upon it. In my own experience there have been times when I have used this method and the deeper meaning of what I was looking at didn’t dawn on me until after I had walked away from the cards and was knee deep into something else. Once again, be patient. In often takes years to develop bad habits and imbalances so be willing to allow yourself a healing curve and don’t expect instantaneous results. Also, don’t be locked into only considering the meanings of the cards that are listed in some book. The traditional meanings outlined in most books are just a starting point. It is important to remember that the cards present us with archetypal images, meaning our understanding of them will vary somewhat in regards to each person’s unique experience.

Now of course a skeptic might immediately reply that because there are only a limited number of Tarot Cards does that mean everyone with a lower backache would be diagnosed by the same card or cards and therefore have the same root problem? Just like an aspirin doesn’t get rid of everyone’s headache, using this method is not a one size fits all cure. In fact, it’s a flat out mistake to think that just because there are millions of people in the world there are millions of different problems. In my experience with clients, I have found that there is a basic menu of problems out of which develops an infinite number of variations. Therefore, in answer to the above question, yes, everyone with a lower backache will end up being diagnosed by the same Tarot cards, yet each particular person’s life will involve different circumstances. For instance, the two cards associated with a lower backache would be “The Tower XVI,” symbolizing the false structures in our lives that must be dismantled and rebuilt to better suit our needs, and “Temperance XIV,” which is about the need for emotional balance if we intend to attain our highest potential and have harmony in our lives. With that in mind, while it is true that two different people with a lower a backache will essentially have the same cards involved in their diagnosis, it doesn’t mean that these individuals need to be healed in the same way. Each will have markedly different life circumstances surrounding their imbalance. For instance, the symbolism of “The Tower” speaks to eliminating the false structures in our lives that inhibit growth. Theoretically, this could pertain to either a bad marriage or a lousy job, as both situations stem from the individual identifying with something that doesn’t honor them.

From an objective point of view, much of what I have just said may appear to be stating the obvious, but that’s only if you’re indulging an obvious frame of mind and are expecting certain results. It is often easy to see the problems of others, yet it is truly a revelation if we can manage to accurately see the imbalances in ourselves. It is truly an aware person who can make the connection between their bodily discomfort and the deeper psychological patterns driving the circumstances of their lives.

Sharing the Love

After first exploring the efficacy of this system on one’s self, the next step if you are a Healer would be to use it as a general method of diagnosis for others. This does not mean that you need to abandon whatever other healing modality you may be using. In fact, the act of employing this diagnostic method may very well be instrumental in evolving your current practice.

When working with a patient, begin by putting them in a relaxed position, either lying on a healing table or sitting comfortably in a chair. At that point you can then ask them to describe their ailment or else use whatever technique you commonly employ to determine where their blocked area is. When the problem area has been identified, you should then make a mental note of the portion of the Tree of Life being affected and the Tarot cards associated with that section. At this point, the Tarot symbolism can be used to supplement your own intuitive impressions about what issues may be driving the patient’s condition. Once you are done, any cards that may have come up during the reading can also be prescribed to the patient after the session as a meditation aid to empower their own healing process.

Astrology

 Besides the Tarot, the Planetary and Zodiac archetypes of Astrology can also be placed into the Tree of Life. Below are a pair of diagrams showing the Astrological correspondences to the Tree as well as their direct application to the human body.

                           

The method that was previously outlined for using the Tarot in the Tree of Life can also be used for Astrology, with some slight differences.

Begin as before by identifying the problem area on the body and then locating it on the Tree of Life diagram. Once you have determined what Planets and/or Zodiac signs are involved, the next step will be to consult the natal (birth) chart of whoever is being examined. As a result, you will need both the birth information of the person involved as well as the ability to construct their Astrological chart. The reason for this is because it will be necessary to check where the particular planet or sign identified on the Tree of Life is located within their chart, as well as what current transits may be affecting that sign or planet. For example, an acute pain in the left leg or knee would correspond to the Astrological sign of Pisces (pathway 29 in the diagram). One would then need to look at the natal chart to determine what house is ruled by Pisces as well as what planets are situated there. It will also be important to see where the rulers of Pisces (Neptune and Jupiter) are located in the chart, both natally and by transit, along with whatever other planets are currently transiting through the sign.

Once the natal and transiting planetary influences have been determined in the individual’s chart, the resulting aspects will serve to reveal what may be at the root of the patient’s discomfort. For instance, let’s use our previous example and say an individual is suffering from a sore left leg. Let’s additionally assume that Pisces is the ruler of their seventh house and that Uranus is currently transiting there. At this point it would be reasonable to deduce that the esoteric cause for the pain may be the result of some unexpected change or stress (the effect of Uranus) on a one to one relationship such as a marriage or business partnership (the domain of the 7thHouse). If the circumstances in the person’s life confirm this observation, then it would be reasonable to assume that dealing with the relationship constructively would be an important supplemental aspect to whatever steps are being be taken therapeutically to treat the leg.

Of course what I’ve just written may sound fantastic to an individual who is not intuitive or esoterically inclined, yet in my experience the validity of this method is far more effective than one might think. It should also be noted that using the Tarot and Astrological methods together allows for a much more detailed analysis of the situation, as well as having the advantage of being able to use one method to confirm the other.

Conclusion

 Admittedly, the efficacy of being able to use this method depends to a great extent on the operator’s experience with the symbolism of the Tarot, Astrology, and the Tree of Life. On the other hand, if the mechanics of the Western Esoteric Method are new to you don’t allow yourself to get discouraged so easily. Anyone possessing an experiential understanding of spiritual energy as the connecting force of the Universe, whether they know that force as Tao, Prana, or Grace, should  be able to use what I’ve written to begin to “feel’ their way into an understanding of the above mentioned systems.

Something else that I feel is important to keep in mind when working with this method involves giving some thought to what is known as a “Placebo” in scientific medical trials. What is commonly referred to as “The Placebo Effect” occurs when some of the patients being treated in a study are told they are receiving the test medicine, when in actuality they are being given a sugar pill. Amazingly enough, it has been found in an alarming number of cases that the individuals who have been given the sugar pill during these tests are sometimes the only ones whose condition improves! While I feel this is utterly remarkable, conventional thinking customarily disregards the placebo effect as merely the power of suggestion…..But wait a minute, if those who are given a placebo end up getting better and those who are given the actual medicine don’t, wouldn’t it also stand to reason that there is a great deal to think about here in regards to the untapped power of the human mind? After all. Modern physiology tells us that the average human being utilizes only about 10% of their brain capacity, if that’s the case, then what is dormant and waiting to be discovered in the remaining 90%? Perhaps these unexplored regions of our awareness hold the answers for many of the unsolved mysteries of the Universe, like for instance how a placebo (or this method I’ve written about) could actually work?

I guess the ultimate question that remains now is whether or not you believe it’s possible for us to heal ourselves with the power of the mind? I won’t make any promises I can’t keep, nor will I say anything is for sure, but if our socialized, compulsive, and misguided thoughts can make us sick by masking over our inner wisdom with conformity and fear, then why can’t it also be possible to reverse such dis-ease by actively seeking out some of the more positive  hidden possibilities within us?

Learn to be your own placebo.

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When The Fit Hits The Shan / Uranus in Taurus

 

One hundred and sixty two years ago, in 1859, Charles Dickens began his novel “A Tale of Two Cities” with, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity…” Of course this opening sentence goes on a bit longer in the actual novel, but you get the idea. Mr. Dickens was writing about a crazy, polarized time, much like what we’re experiencing now with the Covid Pandemic and its deniers, Climate Change and its deniers, Racial Inequity and its deniers, Truth and its deniers.

 

As a Professional Astrologer for over 20 years it is my business to pay attention to the movements of the planets and look for trends. Like for instance, a common thread linking Mr. Dickens time to our own is that the planet Uranus is shaking things up in the sign of Taurus.

 

One of the slower moving planets in our Solar system, Uranus or “the ringed planet resting on its side”, takes approximately 84 years to circle the Sun. Named after the violent and uncontrollable King of the Titans in Greek Mythology, Uranus is the planetary archetype associated with revolution and unexpected change on a grand scale, as well as individuality, freedom, and genius on a personal level. By contrast, the fixed earth sign of Taurus (where Uranus is currently transiting) is about stability, tradition, and conformity. Hence, when a volatile planet like Uranus passes through a fixed, status quo sign like Taurus, the walls of our institutions can be expected to shake and the  people will cry out (or lash out) for change. Sound familiar?

 

There is no doubt that over the last year Uranus’s signature unpredictability has been severely testing not only our society, but the world at large. In fact, here in the U.S. one need look no further than the utter collapse of our health care system during the Covid pandemic to find Uranian chaos (Uranus was finally in Taurus for good  by March 2019) . But that’s not all, how about the mysterious failure of Washington D.C. law enforcement to adequately respond to the violent insurrection that occurred in the U.S Capitol on January 6, 2021, especially when they knew it was coming (Uranus and Mars were squaring Jupiter in Aquarius at the time)? How was such a lapse of duty possible when a mob of thousands hoping to overturn the election started marching toward the Capitol while it was being covered live on CNN? Add to that the unbelievable denials afterwards by some of the elected officials who were present regarding whether or not anything even happened on that fateful day, particularly since film footage exists showing many of these deniers literally running and hiding for their lives. Let’s also not forget the Presidential election in 2020 that triggered the aforementioned insurrection (Uranus was opposing the Sun in Scorpio). After a record voter turnout that was by all official accounts a fair and secure process, there were nevertheless those who questioned the outcome despite President Biden winning by a landslide margin of over 7 million votes. To make matters even more absurd, after these election challenges were defeated in over 60 court cases around the country there is still to this day, almost a year later, a major media network in our country still telling its viewers we have an illegitimate President and the election was “stolen.”

 

As I previously mentioned, the antics of Uranus have not been limited only to the U.S. Just ask the Palestinians and their supporters around the world how they feel about the recent actions of the Israeli government, or vice-versa, if you want to hear what both sides of Uranian reactionary insanity sound like. And of course there is also the sudden “unexpected” collapse of the Afghan government less than 2 weeks after the U.S. military departed following its 20-year presence there (Uranus had been in an extended square with Saturn in Aquarius at the time). This of course happened after American Intelligence experts assured us that the ability of the radical, fundamentalist Taliban to regain power was “unlikely.” To an average person like myself who routinely expects everyone in the government to fail upwards no matter what they do, everything I’ve been recounting still sounds like the workings of a world spinning out of control (or fake news depending on your IQ) yet to any competent Astrologer these events I’ve listed have Uranus in Taurus’s eccentric fingerprints all over them. If you don’t believe me just reread what Mr. Dickens wrote, or perhaps you could try and find somebody in England who is old enough to remember back on September 30, 1938 when Prime Minister Chamberlain came back from Germany and told them Hitler wasn’t going to be a problem (yes, Uranus was in Taurus then too!).

 

Another interesting phenomenon going on now in our society that has piqued my interest and also seems to smack of Uranus’s influence, particularly when it comes to the total disregard and rejection of traditional mores, would be the “Non-gender identifying” phenomenon that is being championed by many young people. Here in America the act of exchanging a traditional pronoun like “he” or “she” for a more ubiquitous and supposedly freeing “they” adheres to the sort of individualism and rebelliousness that could easily be linked to Uranus’s influence.  This phenomenon becomes even more interesting after one realizes that in the Western Esoteric Tradition (as well as in many of the Spiritual systems of the East) the act of merging the duality of masculine and feminine into a single, unified awareness is considered the apex of spiritual realization and a significant transcendental step upwards. A second example of an esoteric phenomenon that I feel is linked to the Non-gender identifying movement and which has long fascinated me involves the numerous descriptions of extraterrestrial encounters (also ruled by Uranus) in which the abductors are described as exhibiting a genderless appearance. If that’s the case, then maybe the whole abduction phenomenon is not really about the invasion of our planet by another form of life. Perhaps what we think of as Aliens is really the archetype of a higher, universal, non-gender identifying wisdom within humanity that is trying to emerge?  During the Summer of 2025 as it exits Taurus to enter Gemini, Uranus will eventually catch up to directly aspect Neptune, the planet of transcendental love, meaning that perhaps by then we could have a better understanding if humanity as a whole is actually evolving toward a more universal “they” or will instead remain within the limits of a partisan he, she, or whatever else?

 

Now of course I am sure there are some who might want to challenge me and ask why I’m suggesting Uranus is so influential at this time? What about the other planets?  No doubt there are those who might say Saturn is more of a widespread influence now because of his authoritarian nature and predisposition for the rules. In addition, he’s also currently transiting through a sign he holds dominion over, namely Aquarius (which by the way is co-ruled by Uranus). On the other hand, there are probably some who might feel that Pluto is a more powerful energy on earth now, particularly because he symbolizes perhaps the two most powerful forces of change known to humanity, specifically death and regeneration. Another important point in favor of Pluto would be that the atomic bomb was invented shortly after his discovery, thus making him not only the Archetype of the Nuclear Age (which we’re still caught up in) but also the Patron God of every hawk politician on the face of the earth (war being humanity’s favorite pastime). Another planet that could be considered as having a strong influence now over the earth would Neptune, the archetype of enlightenment, although in my opinion his converse sides of illusion and escapism are far more effective tools for helping humans to experience the truth, albeit by default . Also, like Saturn, Neptune is transiting a sign he rules, in this case, Pisces.

 

After weighing all the above evidence, and in spite of the worthy cases that can be made for the influence of these other planets on humanity at this time, I would have to say that  Uranus still gets my vote as the prime mover and shaker over our current destiny here on earth. Why? Well, for one reason he’s about change for change’s sake, good, bad, or indifferent, and that’s a daunting force  to deal with. If you don’t believe me, ask anyone who’s been caught in the reasonless, random destruction of a Tsunami or an earth quake (like those in Haiti last week). Uranus is not concerned with teaching us a lesson or helping us to gain any maturity or wisdom after one of his unexpected occurrences, that’s much too pre-planned for an “on the edge” type like him. Uranus likes to be strapped to the front of the rollercoaster for the fun of it. He’s not about the trial and error of incremental innovation (practically or morally) he’s about that “Aha!” moment of realization that seemingly emerges out of a vacuum. Uranus is the flash of satori, not the study of philosophy. As an example, take that revolutionary invention from not too long ago known as the internet (which, by the way, is ruled by Uranus). At its inception it was touted as something that would effectively shrink the world by instantly expanding our ability to access unlimited information. Remember the first time you heard that mystifying, transcendental sounding term,“cyberspace?” Well, fast forward a little more than a decade and the once space age sounding notion of the internet is now nothing more than a universal shopping mall where thieves (along with government organizations like the NSA) can access your life and personal information with impunity. What was at one time thought of as a major technological step forward has essentially turned into a lawless land of disinformation; a hall of mirrors where base-less propaganda like “Stop the Steal” is promoted along with anti-mask and anti-vaccine lies that proliferate among the unwitting like mosquitoes in a swamp.

 

Now you may be asking yourself, “what can an average person with average illusions like myself do to prevent being ravaged by this current and unpredictable chaos of Uranus?” That’s more than a fair question, so let’s look at how Uranus is affecting each of the signs (No, I will not be talking about romance or career prospects.)

 

Of course the sign at ground zero for all this is Taurus, therefore Taurians in general should be ready for both welcome and unwelcome surprises into their well-ordered, aesthetically pleasing worlds (though at first it may be hard to tell which is which). On the other hand, Leos and Aquarians should be careful about thinking that they understand more than they do about any of this, after all it’s not always about you and no one put you in charge. At the same time, Scorpions should be careful not to use their stingers every time something happens that they didn’t expect (if you want to think like Machiavelli then you should expect the unexpected). For the earth signs, such as Capricorn and Virgo, they will likely find themselves touched by a bit of genius, so a useful mantra for them might be, “Build it and they will come” although the necessity for vaccinations and masks may put a damper on any dreams of manifest destiny for the time being. Last but not least, Cancers and Pisceans may find themselves feeling a lot more sensitive (and cranky) than usual, meaning they should seriously work on transforming some of their excess stress into a relaxing or liberating creative endeavor; perhaps a bread and breakfast or a massage parlor, but then we’re back to the vaccination and mask stuff….Oh well……..

 

In closing, I would like to stress how important it is when dealing with an unpredictable planet like Uranus to try and remain as objective as possible. You are not defined in this life by what you have, or by what you’ve accomplished, because at the drop of a hat all of that can be taken away “like a fist when you open your hand” (up to and including your life). Realize instead that what at first may seem like the world collapsing could, in actuality, be a blessing in disguise.  After all, contained in the word “revolution” is the word “love” spelled backwards, meaning that the ability to recognize and decipher hidden clues amidst the chaos could ultimately turn out to be the difference between experiencing this Uranus transit as either stressful or enlightening. In other words, pay attention; the world may not be what you’re assuming it is and Uranus is just trying to point this out.