Mr. Saturn’s Stars #48 Weekly Horoscopes for 8/13-8/19, 2018

Weekly Horoscopes for 8/13-8/19, 2018


 Hi kids!!! Here we are in the Dog Days of August (woof! woof!) with 6 retrograde planets (soon to be 5) making it look like we still have a long, hot “Summer in the City” in front of us.

“All around, people looking half dead

Walking on the sidewalk, hotter than a match head”


Aries- With Mars retrograde backing up from your House of Dreams into your House of Career, it looks like there’ll be no rest for the weary this week when it comes to turning your dreams into reality. Saturn retrograde is also in your House of Career, and as it aligns with Uranus retrograde in your House of Self Worth and squares Venus in your House of Relationships, try not to complain too much about having to go over everything yet again before you can move forward toward whatever your goal is. Jupiter in your House of Transformation aligning with Neptune behind the scenes is all about compassion, so try not to be too hard on anyone if you’re not getting what you want because, if truth be told, with 6 retrograde planets to start the week we’re all in the same rut at this point and complaining about it won’t make anything better.


Taurus- Expect Uranus retrograde in your sign to shake things up, especially as it aligns with Saturn retrograde in your House of Philosophy to let all sorts of sacred cows out of the pen in your “everything’s got to be just right world.” Venus in your House of Routines will further contribute to this anarchy as it also aspects Saturn, so try your best to see the silver lining if your comfort zone ends up getting dragged through the mud of inconvenience so that it ends up becoming soiled beyond recognition. If it seems like nothing is going to be easy this week then the surprise will certainly be on you, as Jupiter in your House of Relationships aligns with Neptune in your House of Friends to bring either a Florence Nightingale or a Mr. Clean into your life for some relatively delightful damage control. If you have any sort of romantic maid or workman fantasy be prepared for some serious role playing…….Oooh la la !!!


Gemini- Uranus retrograde in your House of Confinement is probably making you feel like a tiger in a cage, and as it aligns with Saturn retrograde in your House of Transformation you’re also probably feeling like feeding time will never come, hence you are likely going to be one angry cat this week. Nevertheless, try to be cool and not to scratch anyone or else your impetuousness might end up getting your head on the wall of some wannabe big game hunter who ordinarily wouldn’t be able to hit the broad side of a barn. Mars backing up into your House of Shared Resources would suggest you try to play nice no matter how bad things seem: in other words, do the tricks they want you to and act like a pussycat. As noble Jupiter aligns with compassionate Neptune maybe one of those people going “Awwwwh” in the audience over how hard you’re trying to be nice will help you get out of that cage you’re stuck in and offer a chance at a new life as a “Fat Cat.” Purrrrrrrr!


Cancer- Mars backing up into your House of Relationships and Open Enemies could serve to reopen an old wound that you had hoped was healed. With Saturn and Pluto retrograde in that House as well, maybe your having to revisit this is about finally letting go of the past rather than going for revenge and another round of combat with a particular individual. Jupiter in your House of Creativity aligning with Neptune in your House of Philosophy would speak to your enlightenment in this situation, but only if you can find the courage to believe in your finer qualities and not react to what an adversary is accusing you of, mostly because it makes their sorry ass look a whole lot better than it is. Uranus retrograde in your House of Groups and Dreams is all about breaking free from the past, “so put all those troubles in your old kit bag and smile, smile, smile!!!”


Leo- If you have been feeling withdrawn over the last few weeks, Mercury going station/direct in your sign and aligning with Venus in your House of Communication will likely make you want to get back out there and throw that charm around once again, especially if it can help you out in regards to a dispute with an older individual at work. This person represents the past and you are the future, so let Uranus in your House of Career inspire you to let your freak flag fly in the face of their curmudgeonly whining. No body likes them, people just feel guilty about telling an old fart they need “Beano.” Jupiter in your House of Home and Family aligning with Neptune in your House of Transformation may require you to grow with a family situation rather than abandoning it as you had planned. Sorry, but you’re the natural leader here, so get to work and wrangle those spoiled brats!


Virgo- Mercury going station/direct in your House of the Secret Self and Mars backing into your House of Creativity will likely have you rethinking something you had thought was a good idea but is really no longer materially feasible. Neptune in your House of Relationships aligning with Jupiter in your House of Communication could make expressing this to the involved parties a bit difficult, mostly because of an unwillingness on your part to tell it like it is. With Uranus retrograde in your House of Transformation aligning with Saturn retrograde in your House of Creativity, don’t confuse being true to yourself in circumstances which have changed for the worse with feeling guilty about disappointing someone who has never really had anyone’s interests in mind but their own. Don’t be afraid to do you and let the chips fall where they may, after all, they’re mostly your chips.


Libra- Mars has backed up from your House of Creativity into your House of Foundations, meaning the time has probably come for you to ask for some feedback on something you’ve been working on that could benefit from a fresh perspective. Mercury going station/direct in your House of Dreams and aligning with Venus in your sign would further indicate that any editorial help you need is there for the asking, the question is, why won’t you ask for it? Jupiter in your House of Self Worth aligning with Neptune can help address any problems you might have about your deservedness, which is the far more important issue here and ultimately something you can only answer for yourself. At this point enter Uranus retrograde in your House of Transformation asking you bluntly what the hell the problem is about you feeling worthy, while at the same time Saturn retrograde is saying, “You heard the man, answer the question!” Well, answer the damn question!


Scorpio- Uranus retrograde in your House of Relationships aligning with Saturn retrograde in your House of Communication could make you the unexpected object of desire for a person either much older or younger than yourself. This doesn’t have to be awkward or any sort of big deal if you can just keep in mind that Saturn is also squaring Venus in your House of Secrets, meaning the attraction may be more about lust than love on your part. Mercury going station/direct in your House of Public Image would warn you to be careful here and try not to be too cavalier in private with someone you don’t really want to be seen with in public. Jupiter in your sign aligning with Neptune in your House of Romance may make you think this situation is harmless, but you really don’t know what this individual’s agenda might be, so try to have some foresight here and remember the Dylan song, “Go ‘way from my window/ Leave at your own chosen speed/ I’m not the one you want, babe/ I’m not the one you need.”


Sagittarius- Mercury going station/direct this week in your House of Philosophy and Jupiter in your House of the Inner Self could end up having a very revelatory influence now, as it slowly begins to dawn on you that no matter what the circumstances of your life are, it does matter deep down what you believe. Things are not hopeless. You can make a difference. Mars moving backward into your House of Self Worth should help you to understand that the cynic you have pretended to be for all this time was only a mask, a defense mechanism covering a very deep sadness at the corruption of the world. You’re actually a sensitive soul; do you realize that makes you strong and not weak? You might be speechless at this point, but all I have to say is “whoa!” You know what this means? YOU CAN BE HAPPY! Right now! Go ahead, laugh right in the face of the nearest asshole and enjoy yourself. It’s their problem, not yours.


Capricorn- Don’t turn the other cheek to a critic, counterpunch with another idea. Mercury going station/direct in your House of Transformation along with Jupiter in your House of Dreams are working together so that you will have the confidence to let the inspiration of Neptune in your House of Communication express itself; like Picasso releasing his one-eyed women on the world.  With this in mind, Mars backing up into your sign should provide the necessary fuel now for the slow, steady upward climb from the depths of a creative idea’s inception to the apex of its expression. In turn, Uranus retrograde in your House of Creativity aligning with Saturn in your sign should serve to impose order upon the chaos and set the stage for the clear intuitive voice in the back of your head to announce defiantly into the deafening silence, “Let there be light.”


Aquarius- With Mars moving back into your House of Confinement, you will now have a total of 3 retrograde planets working behind the scenes to turn something you cannot outdistance from the past into your most immediate challenge. Who were you then, and how has what you’ve done since influenced who you are now? Uranus retrograde in your House of Foundations could furnish some surprises as you try and work this out, especially if whatever you did in the past doesn’t seem to reflect well on the person you’re pretending to be now. Jupiter in your House of Public Image aligning with Neptune in your House of Self Worth will try to conceal this contradiction, although as Jupiter also squares this weeks Mercury station/direct in your House of Relationships, someone close to you may inadvertently discover something you’d prefer to remain a secret and it could change the whole landscape of your association. Venus in Libra will make you want to continue the subterfuge if you can, but then who would you be; do you even know?


Pisces- Neptune in your sign for the past few years has probably been making your life seem like a cross between a funhouse hall of mirrors and a London Fog, although on the bright side you’ve probably also managed to stumble over a few important lessons during this time as well. With 6 retrograde planets now, including Uranus in your House of Communications and Saturn in your House of Career, you’re certainly not out of the woods yet, although with Mercury going station/direct in your House of Daily Routines you should be able to finally get some traction in terms of any immediate problems either at home or on the job, and with Venus in your House of Shared Resources you might even discover some valuable new friends along the way. “Follow the Yellow Brick Road.”

Mr. Saturn’s Stars #31 Weekly Horoscopes for 4/9-4/15, 2018

Weekly horoscopes for 4/9-4/15, 2018


 Hi kids!!! Welcome to another week of Mr. Saturn’s Stars. Spring has been with us now for a bit and as a Poet once wrote,

“April is the cruelest month, breeding

Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing

Memory and desire, stirring

Dull roots with spring rain.”

Not to mention frigging snow as well! At any rate, let’s try to get some insight into those memories and desires we all have and stir some of those dull roots with some new horoscopes. Ready?… Steady…. Let’s go!!!


 Aries- As the Sun in your sign this week squares Pluto you will likely be feeling both ambitious and impatient. Add to this the fact that Mercury (also in your sign) will be going station/direct in an extended square to Saturn in your House of Career and it’s likely that there could be some unexpected obstacles in your way as well. With Venus transiting through her home sign of Taurus and your house of Self Worth, the question you need to be asking yourself at this critical juncture is, what’s more important, recognition or money? How you answer this could make a world of difference, especially if someone you’re depending on turns out to be a flake and losing it with them could end up having some inconvenient financial consequences. Let Neptune behind the scenes help you to remain calm by realizing that successful people don’t end up biting off their nose to spite their face.


Taurus- With both Mercury Retrograde and Uranus behind the scenes in your chart squaring Saturn and Pluto in your House of Public Image, there is a great unsettledness now as you try to move forward with your agenda amidst a world that seems adamant about taking its time. Likewise, Venus in your sign aligning with Mars in your House of Philosophy and Neptune in your House of Dreams represents the perfectionist in you that cannot settle for anything less than what you have envisioned. At this point, Jupiter Retrograde in your House of Partnerships could either calm you down and help you see the forest for the trees here, or else end up turning your whole life into a confrontation of irresistible force meets immovable object. Ultimately it’s up to you, but then again that’s where we started. Try to be patient until Mercury goes direct over the weekend, you’ll be glad you did.


Gemini- Mercury is your ruling planet and with it going station/direct this week in an extended square to Saturn there could be issues now surrounding what you need as opposed to what a group or situation expects of you. As the Sun squares Pluto and inconjuncts Jupiter you will likely be required to rethink how your hopes and dreams in this situation and consider how they may need to evolve. It is not necessarily about getting what you want or not getting what you want, but instead realizing what a situation can or can’t allow so that everyone involved can end up with what they truly need. The New Moon conjunct Uranus over the weekend in your House of Dreams could bring you some unexpected rewards, just be sure to make a mental note about how useless much of your previous worry and frustration was.


Cancer- Venus in your House of Dreams aligning with Pluto and Neptune symbolizes a rebirth as you finally manifest something you had always fantasized about but never thought would actually come to pass. Or did you always know you would attain this goal but instead chose to make yourself suffer by whining about it? As Mercury ends its current retrograde and goes station/direct in an extended square to Saturn, it’s important that you sort out this inner dynamic of constantly taking one step back to go two steps forward. Of course realizing that you do this would make the journey to your next dream a little easier, but more importantly you also need to consciously acknowledge your evolution and realize the strength and creativity it took to get where you are. As the New Moon conjuncts Uranus over the weekend, make sure to pinch yourself and say out loud, “This isn’t a dream, it’s my destiny, and I created it.”


Leo- This could be a time of extreme dissonance in regards to your thought patterns, however, the good news is that this unsettledness is probably a harbinger of a whole new frame of mind emerging that will get you out of the rut you’ve been feeling stuck in for a while. Mercury going station/direct in an extended square to Saturn will set the stage for you to challenge authority, while Pluto aligning with Venus in your House of Career will help you find the resources to establish your own sovereignty, at which point you will be ready to be your own boss if you can stand up and face the responsibility. Mars aligning with Neptune is the steam to get to the dream if you’re willing to stoke the fire, so make an effort to break out of your comfort zone where you criticize everything ahead of time so you don’t have to try.


Virgo- Venus in your House of Philosophy aligning with Mars in your House of Creativity is an extremely regenerative influence and with Neptune at their midpoint in your House of Relationships this is a time when you can bring a great deal of love and healing to all your associations. If there is a downside to this influence it would involve the illusory aspects of Neptune, which could allow you to be taken advantage of by a manipulative though charming person. In other words, you’re nice enough to risk being not nice if that’s what the situation calls for. Mercury will end its retrograde and go station/direct in your House of Transformation, where it will then square Saturn in your House of Creativity, thus making this a time when you need to be preparing for any potential snafu’s before trying to move ahead with a project, especially if you’re going to be dependent on receiving help from someone who has not always been reliable in the past.


Libra- Even though the symbol for your sign is the scales and you’re known for always seeking balance, the Astrological joke about Libra is that he or she is simply “an Aries who went to charm school.” Translation; patience is a lesson we all struggle with, so with Mercury in your House of Partnerships going station/direct in an extended square with Saturn in your House of Foundations realize that all the charm in the world isn’t going to help you avoid what needs to be done when it needs to be done. The good news though is Venus in your House of Transformation lining up with Neptune in your work area and Mars at home will likely turn the tide your way if you’re willing to be patient and go with the flow. That is a big if though, especially since Saturn hasn’t given you a break yet this year and your “patience account” is a bit overdrawn. Nevertheless, try to keep the faith and remember the saying, “All things must pass.”


Scorpio- A health concern this week could be more of an annoyance than a real problem, although if it gets you to slow down and rest then it is actually a blessing in disguise. Venus in your House of Partnerships aligning with Pluto in your House of Communication is another blessing coming your way although in this case it should come in the form of a long standing admirer finally getting the stones to make their move on you. With Neptune in your House of Romance expect this person to be as corny as Alfalfa courting Darla in The Little Rascals, but don’t worry, you’ll love it……hahaha!!! That is unless the New Moon conjunct Uranus over the weekend brings up your usual control issues….Oh no!!!


Sagittarius- Hopefully over the last couple of weeks you’ve been busy preparing your resume, planning your escape from prison, or at least attempting to organize something that will get you out of the rut you’re in. If that’s the case, then Mercury going station/direct this week is the perfect time to recheck everything before you bust your move. Venus in your House of Work aligning with Mars in your House of Self Worth should bring you success as long as you feel you deserve it, meaning that if you don’t speak up how will anyone have a chance to see how smart you are. Remember, it ‘s the squeaky wheel that gets the grease so repeat after me……”SQUEEEEK !!! SQUEEEEEEK !!!


Capricorn- With the Sun, Mercury Retrograde, and Uranus all in Aries and your House of Symbolic Foundations squaring Mars, Saturn, and Pluto in your sign, there’s undoubtedly “A Whole Lotta Shakin Goin On” down there in the deep recesses of your being. The question though is what, if anything, are you actually doing differently while the earth is moving under your feet? Hopefully with Neptune in your House of Thinking and Communication you are not trying to maintain an outmoded comfort zone by worrying and complaining and playing the victim, but are instead letting the confrontation between an irresistible force (Aries) and an immovable object (Capricorn) motivate you to find your own sense of truth and peace even if that means going beyond whatever you had formerly thought was sensible. Mr. Saturn’s haiku this week is for you;


“Impossible just

Means that your belief structure

Doesn’t have windows”


Aquarius- Mars, Saturn, and Pluto are all driving you onward from behind the scenes, but to where? The Sun, Mercury Retrograde, and Uranus are all clamoring in your ear, but what are they saying? Much of what you’re compelled to do now is coming from a place of lack, or not feeling like you’re enough, and it’s important for you to realize that to feel that way is like being a cup with a hole in the bottom-you’ll never be fulfilled. The New Moon with Uranus over the weekend will spur you on to make even greater efforts, but effort and energy are not what you need right now. What you need at this point in time is some peace of mind and a little self-appreciation so you can relax. Venus in your House of Romance may be able to provide this for you now as she entices Mars (and maybe even Saturn and Pluto as well) to take a break. Now if they can stop for a bit, why can’t you?


Pisces- Impatience can often be a very negative statement we make about ourselves while not even realizing we are doing it. With Neptune in your sign and Mercury Retrograde in your House of Self Worth squaring Saturn in your House of Dreams, you are clearly mistaking insecurity for ambition now if you insist on pushing ahead instead of reading the writing on the wall that’s trying to tell you to slow down and rethink a few things. Venus moving into a harmonious alignment with Mars indicates that the potential for your success is certainly there, but since these two planets are in stable earth signs it is important now to move slowly and steadily. Assume that any obstacle that arises is a chance to make whatever you’re doing better and not necessarily a verdict on your ultimate success or failure. If you can get that then you can get what you want.

Mr. Saturn’s Stars #15 Weekly Horoscopes for 12/18-12/24, 2017

Weekly Horoscopes for 12/18 – 12/24, 2017


Hi kids!!! Welcome back once again to Mr. Saturn’s Stars.

For any of you out there who aren’t feeling all this Christmas hype there is an alternative holiday one can celebrate at this time of year if you’re interested. December 17th – 23rd is the annual Feast of Saturnalia, an Ancient Roman holiday that honored the God Saturn (who, by the way, I’m officially related to according to

Unlike the crass commercialism and corny trappings of Christmas, Saturnalia featured all kinds of freaky stuff. There was role reversal and behavioral license, like Masters serving Slaves at the celebration banquet, Slaves being able to gamble with their Master’s or even disobey them without fearing punishment, and of course lots of Free Love. According to one source, “Rampant overeating and drunkenness became the rule and a sober person the exception.” My Great, great, great, great Granddad really knew how to throw a party, didn’t he? So, if you’d prefer to abandon social norms this holiday season instead of conforming as usual, then join the conga line to the Temple of Saturn nearest you and debauch de-year away!


Aries- With the New Moon, Venus, and Saturn in Sag to start the week and all of them aligning with Uranus in your sign, you will no doubt be feeling invincible, or at least fairly lucky if you can manage to do something like be on the platform at the same time as the train pulls into the station so you won’t be late for work on Monday morning. Enjoy these small victories while they last, because as the week drags on the Moon, Saturn, and then the Sun will all arrive in Capricorn, the sign of responsibility and achievement as well as your House of Career. Pluto is also in Capricorn now, so as the aforementioned planets join the archetype of death and transformation this is a time for you to re-examine your ambitions and direction. Make sure you haven’t become complacent in a situation that affords you comfort and perks but no longer really challenges you. Toward the end of the week when Mercury goes station/direct and briefly angles Neptune and Jupiter, take a moment to consider just how seriously you take yourself and where that falls between fabulous and not good enough as you stand at the velvet rope and wait for Mr. Saturn to let you in.

Taurus- Did you ever see the movie “Network” when the Newscaster played by Peter Finch tells people to stick their heads out the window and yell, “I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore!” Are you anywhere near a window? As the Moon, Saturn, and the Sun go into Capricorn and Jupiter and Mars continue their march through your House of Relationships, your grumpiness may be hard to conceal, especially since a volatile, retrograde Uranus has been chained to a radiator in your subconscious for quite awhile now and the neighbors are starting to suspect something. The Lunar Arc this week will highlight the process of how you negotiate your needs in any given situation, which brings us back to the screaming out the window thing; does it need to get to that? As Mercury goes station/direct and nudges Neptune and Jupiter, stop trying to act so nice and instead start being nice to yourself, whatever that may mean and whoever may need to pay for it. “Word!” say’s Mr. Saturn.

Gemini- “Therefore send not to know For whom the bell tolls, It tolls for thee.” The new Moon at the beginning of the week in your House of Relationships will be ringing in the next phase of a romantic partnership, namely commitment and responsibility. The Moon, Saturn, and the Sun will all be entering Capricorn this week and transiting through your House of Shared Resources, so maybe the time has come to make a home with that special someone? Mars and Jupiter in your House of Work slowly aligning with Neptune in your Career area might require you to manage your time between a job that pays the bills and a career that satisfies your soul. You may be frustrated at having to compromise your time, but just like the old chain gangs, Mr. Saturn would suggest you sing some blues to get you through. ”Girl we gotta get out of this place, if it’s the last thing we ever do, we gotta get out of this place, Girl there’s a better life for me and you.”

Cancer- Not that long ago you were complaining that nothing was ever going to change. Well, the time has come to quote a famous Lady who once advised in a classic film, “Buckle your seatbelts it’s going to be a bumpy night.” With the Moon, Saturn, and the Sun joining transformational Pluto in your opposite sign of Capricorn and aligning with Neptune in your House of Travels and Mars and Jupiter in your Creative area, get ready for circumstances to sweep you away into a new phase of your life. Not quite as epic as “Doctor Zhivago,” but what awaits might reveal a destiny you never suspected. Of course you’ll fret about it every step of the way because that’s what you Crabs do, yet once Mercury goes station/direct late in the week and starts to chug ahead toward Uranus don’t be surprised if these unfolding circumstances activate your higher Cancer nature and you come to a stunning realization. Home is wherever the heart is. “Duh-uh,” says Mr. Saturn before he recites your haiku.

“Faith is a haunted

House where we all search in the

Dark with a candle”

Leo- Mr. Saturn and the Sun will move into the sign of Capricorn this week to join Pluto in your House of Health. So how are you feeling? If there is anything your body is trying to tell you make sure you’re listening, because if you don’t Mr. Saturn can be part Nurse and part Sumo Wrestler if necessary to make you a willing patient. Mercury will go station/direct just before the Holiday and square Neptune, so make sure you fulfill your obligations to family. Try to be kind and put up with whatever you have to so that an older person can feel appreciated. They may not be so fabulous now, but they loved you way back when you weren’t so fabulous either. A Pisces Moon on Christmas Eve aligning with Jupiter and Mars may help you to finally see someone for who they truly are instead of who you’d like them to be. Everyone else already knows about this person so let Mr. Saturn get you another glass of wine to help lubricate your naivety through this unbelievable realization.

Virgo- Like Dorothy and her friends being nervous about meeting the Wizard of Oz, the arrival of Saturn into Capricorn and your House of Creativity may have you feeling a little edgy about how a project you’re involved with is going to turn out? Pluto, the planetary archetype of transformation, has already been in this area of your chart for a while, so if you’ve been reading the writing on the wall regarding change then Mr. Saturn will likely be about your dreams coming to fruition, albeit slowly. Just two days after Mr. Saturn arrives in his home sign the Sun will also enter Capricorn, which could help move matters along a little quicker, especially next week when Venus joins the party. Mars and Jupiter in your House of Communication will use Neptune to help spread the word, so if you’re not a success by New Years, don’t fret. Mr. Saturn says you will be the baby wearing the 2018 banner.

Libra- This might sound ominous, but your life is about to change significantly in the coming months, so get ready. The herald of this change will begin this week with none other than Mr. Saturn (Ta-da!!!) entering his home sign of Capricorn and your House of Foundations. Pluto has been there for the last few years setting the stage for this and as Jupiter and Mars in your earnings area and Neptune in the work sphere all move into alignment, the stage is being set for a Quantum Leap regarding how you’re accustomed to thinking about yourself and acting. There’s no way to prepare for this other than to try and be like the surfer who sees the ultimate wave starting to form; put your head down, paddle your ass off, and hope for the best. “Day destroys the night, Night divides the day, try to run, try to hide, Break on through to the Other Side!”

Scorpio- Jupiter and Mars together in your sign now are providing you with a lot of energy. When Saturn and the Sun move into Capricorn during the week and enter your House of Communication, all that energy should finally be finding its focus so that you will be able to advance to the next level in whatever facet of your life you’d like to see improve. Venus in your House of Earnings aligning with Uranus in your House of Work should bring you some tangible dollars and cents recognition in the workplace, either from your current boss or someone else who would like to snatch you away. You will be feeling better than you have in a while, although as Mercury station/direct squares Neptune in your House of Romance, don’t let your good vibe be taken advantage of by a potential suitor who may be offering promises and not much more. As Grace Slick once sang, don’t end up being “A woman with her Greasy Heart Automatic Man.”

Sagittarius- Okay my Centaur friend, what do you want and how much are you willing to do to get it? Jupiter and Mars in Scorpio have been causing you to grind your gears behind the scenes, but now with both Saturn and the Sun moving into Capricorn and your House of Self Worth the time has come to either put up or shut up in terms of what you think you’re capable of. Venus in your sign lining up with Uranus in your House of Fun is making you quite affable, although make sure you’re not putting yourself at a disadvantage by good naturedly agreeing to someone else’s version of you. A Mercury station/retrograde in your sign angling with Neptune will be the last writing on the wall warning you about a manipulative situation at home. After that, Mr. Saturn will have no choice except to serve you with a subpoena to appear before the Court of Common Sense on charges of Felony Gullibility…just sayin’.

Capricorn- Mr. Saturn is coming home to your sign! Are you ready? I’m sorry, that’s a dumb question, of course you’re not ready for Mr. Saturn to be back, who would be? I mean this is Mr. Saturn we’re talking about. Although with the holidays so close maybe he’ll be in a party mood for the remainder of 2017? After all, the only major planet Mr. Saturn will be hanging out with for the rest of this year will be when he shacks up with Venus on Christmas Day (Ooh la la). However, make no mistake about it, he is back and will be making sure that shit gets done. The best way to keep him off your ass would be to enlist the services of Mars and Jupiter in your House of Groups and Neptune in your House of Communication, as they are all in compatible signs and Mars and Jupiter are the kind of hardnosed pros Mr. Saturn appreciates. As a Capricorn you’re a chip off the same old block as Mr. Saturn, so just stay on course for what you’ve been intending over the last few months and enjoy a little Venus yourself over the holiday. Merry Xmas!!!

Aquarius- As Saturn and the Sun enter the hidden part of your chart you could begin to get an inkling of just how much you are driven by the paradox of wanting more because you feel like less. You won’t dwell on this very much, mainly because with Venus in your House of Groups and Uranus in your area of Communications you will be too busy working the room (or the internet) to satisfy the center of attention jones you have going on with Mars and Jupiter in your House of Career and Public Image. Eventually though the curtain will close, the show will end, and there you’ll be, not knowing what to do with yourself without the smell of the greasepaint and the roar of the crowd to give you purpose. This brief moment of alienation will come courtesy of a Mercury station squaring Neptune, although the greater ramifications of this are far too mysterious for you to seriously consider at this time. Just recall what the Oracle told Neo in the Matrix, “you’ll remember you don’t believe in any of this fate crap. You’re in control of your own life…here take a cookie, by the time you’re done eating it you’ll be right as rain.” In other words, don’t worry about it now. Mr. Saturn will be hanging out in your shadows for a while until you’re ready to deal.

Pisces- This week Mr. Saturn will enter your House of Dreams. “What does that mean?” you ask. Imagine being given a charge card with a high credit line and then indulging yourself like a Sultan and maxing it out buying everything you’ve always wanted. When that first bill eventually arrives with interest added on, well, that’s classic Mr. Saturn requiring you to be responsible for your dreams. Now do you understand? Neptune in your sign has set you up for this and Jupiter in your House of Philosophy has fostered the illusion that you’re invincible. The more mundane fact however is that you’re going to have to start being more responsible for a lot of stuff that you don’t want to make time for. Of course you’ll try to charm your way out of growing up, but that will only last as long as it takes Venus to trine Uranus, which will be over by next week. In the meantime what’s that song Mr. Saturn is singing?….”It’s my life and I’ll do what I want/ It’s my mind and I’ll think what I want….” Uh-huh.