Mr. Saturn’s Stars #64 Weekly Horoscopes for 12/10-12/16

Weekly Horoscopes for 12/10-12/16, 2018

 

 Hi kids!!! Welcome back to Mr. Saturn’s Stars.

 

“The United States Attorney charges:

1. From in or about 2007 through in or about January 2017, MICHAEL COHEN, the defendant, was an attorney and employee of a Manhattan-based real estate company (the “Company”). COHEN held the title of “Executive Vice President” and “Special Counsel” to the owner of the Company (“Individual-1”).

2. In or about January 2017, COHEN left the Company and began holding himself out as the “personal attorney” to Individual-1, who at that point had become the President of the United States.”

Obviously Rump still believes in Santa Claus if he thinks he has been totally cleared of any wrong doing……maybe someone should tell him he’s been a bad boy and will only get coal in his stocking this year (pun intended).

 

Aries- This week could be a little bit of an emotional downer for you with passionate Mars and romantic Neptune behind the scenes trying to catch up with the hopeful, happy Sagittarius Sun in your House of Philosophy; sorry, but whoever it is you think you want will likely end up delivering too little, too late; that is, if you even get anything at all out of this person. Combine that with Mercury in your House of Desire inconjuncting Uranus in your sign and you may just find yourself feeling like having a nervous breakdown or committing a murder……Don’t do either… Venus in your House of Resources moving into alignment with Saturn in your House of Career will likely salvage the week (and your sanity) as they both serenade you with some true wisdom… as the song goes, “Your lovin’ gives me a thrill/But you’re lovin’ don’t pay my bills.”

 

Taurus- Mercury and Jupiter in your House of Transformation will have you envisioning something that may not be entirely realistic as their unbridled optimism causes you to overlook the gloom and doom twins, Mars and Neptune, as they act to conceal the fact that someone around you is hoping to rain on your parade. With quirky and unpredictable Uranus behind the scenes, don’t let yourself be surprised by a brick falling out of the sky and hitting you on the head. It would be best now to follow Saturn’s lead as he turns the tables on Venus, who is trying to seduce him from her boudoir in sexy Scorpio; have modest hopes and desires and it’ll be a lot less likely you’ll be disappointed. Remember, one in the hand is worth two in the bush.

 

Gemini- Don’t put much stock this week in what people say, instead pay attention to what they do. As the Sun transits smiley Sagittarius and your House of Partnerships it will be squaring both Mars and Neptune in your House of Public image, so expect to be misled; just make sure whatever blows up in your face is a result of your own choices and not because you listened to a load of hooey from some snake oil salesman (especially if you’re usually the snake oil peddler, comprende?). Likewise, don’t go threatening anyone just because you may not like what’s going on…..Mercury in your House of Work inconjuncting Uranus retrograde in your House of Groups could bring some unexpected blow back and you may not be as tough as you like to pretend.

 

Cancer- Have you ever heard the expression, “there are more horses asses in the world than horses”? Well, if you haven’t then pay attention this week because a universal truth may just reveal itself to you at work in the form of  someone else’s stupidity beyond your wildest dreams. You can thank the Sun in goofy Sagittarius squaring both Mars and Neptune in obtuse Pisces for this cabaret of crapulousness, just make sure you can hear solid Saturn in your House of Partnerships as he aligns with Venus in your House of Creativity so that you don’t get too caught up listening to the wrong people. Know who you can depend on and who you can’t and let the verbal diarrhea fall wherever it may; just make sure you watch your step and let Jupiter in your House of Work lead you to the high ground.

 

Leo-With three major planets in your House of Creativity, your inspiration is ready to be ignited, just make sure someone doesn’t try to set it smoldering as angry Mars and depressing Neptune in watery Pisces pass through your House of Shared Resources. This undermining could come from someone you look at as a partner, but who is really jealous of you. If you sense someone close is being passive aggressive and trying to make you feel guilty for doing what you want, then you’re probably right. Follow your own drummer and then make a mental note of how angry they get in response. Hold your ground and you’ll finally get to see exactly who you’re dealing with.

 

Virgo- If you’re excited that the holidays are here make sure you don’t let some old scrooge spoil it for you. With a trio of happy planets in your House of Home you’ll likely want to make your nest bright and festive, however, with the Grinch and Max, a.k.a Mars and Neptune in your House of Partnership, someone close to you has probably been wearing their matching “Bah, Humbug” undershirts and briefs since Thanksgiving. With Saturn in your House of Creativity aligning with Venus in your House of Communication, try to roll with their bad attitude for the time being. If they don’t know that Santa doesn’t bring any toys to girls and boys who have been bad, then ph*ck ‘em!

 

Libra- As the year starts to wind down, you may be feeling your energy start to diminish as well. You’re a trooper, so with three active planets in your House of Communication you’ll be trying to make a show of it right up until the old guy brings in the baby, however, with both Mars and Neptune in your House of Work and Health the best thing for you to do to close out the year may just be to rest up and look to come out of the gate right on time with starters pistol in 2019. Venus going through your House of Self Worth and aspecting Saturn in your House of Foundations should help you to realize what you have, even if you did fall a little short of what you wanted this past year. You are loved and appreciated and you will live to fight (and win!) another day.

 

Scorpio- Venus is in your sign and as she comes into alignment with Saturn in your House of Communication, make sure you’re saying what you mean and meaning what you say; it could make all of the difference. This is because the gregarious Sagittarian Sun in your House of Self Worth could likely have an alienating effect on those you’d hope to impress, especially since it will be squaring Mars and Neptune, the champions of mixed messages. It’s not your fault that squares are squares and prudes are prudes, just make sure that you don’t give some holier than thou hypocrite the ammunition they need to project their impotency on you and misinterpret the positive message you’re trying to bring across. No one can think for those who are too lazy to think for themselves, so, as Malcolm X used to say, “Make it plain.”

 

Sagittarius- Before you patch out and go from 0-60 in a matter of seconds, make sure your tires are sound because a blow out  now could be deadly. The Sun, Jupiter, and Mercury in your sign will want to put the pedal to the metal, however, with Mars and Neptune sowing their seeds of illusion where the rubber meets the road, don’t assume the track is in good shape unless you’ve seen so for yourself. Follow Saturn’s lead as he pairs up with Venus and make sure to check ahead of time in order to be certain everything is copasetic with where you want to go and what you have to work with. You’re all about big ideas, just don’t end up like the elephant who gets spooked by a mouse.

 

Capricorn- Having Saturn in your sign for as long as you have has no doubt made you, shall we say, a little conservative. Yet with Venus going back through your House of Groups and Friends, perhaps it’s time for you to play hooky on old Saturn and give yourself a break over the holidays. With the Sun, Jupiter, and Mercury all behind the scenes you know you want to have a few drinks, wear a lampshade on your head at a party, and generally carouse, just make sure you have a designated driver or an escort you trust. Mars and Neptune in your House of communication and short trips could have you overlooking the fact that you’re out of practice for the debauchery decathlon, so make it a point to go slow and sip whatever your beverage may be. From what I’ve heard Santa has never hazed anybody, so don’t let anyone pressure you in his name.

 

Aquarius- Whatever ideas you’ve been creating to be able to cope with your circumstances, from now on life will likely be serving you reality straight with no chaser. Especially since Mars and Neptune in your House of Self Worth will be squaring the Sun in your House of Dreams and making it more difficult for you to believe that things will be okay if they continue as they are. Saturn behind the scenes aligning with Venus in your House of Career will no doubt help you to face your miscalculations and take responsibility, but what inquiring minds want to know is if you’ll be able to acknowledge the writing on the wall without a catastrophe occurring first? Uranus retrograde in your House of Thinking and Communication would suggest that you assume nothing at this point if you’re currently behind the eight ball.

 

Pisces- If you’ve been burning the candle at both ends take the time to relax and heal. With Mars and Neptune in your sign you could be feeling both tired and guilty about it, especially with the Sun, Jupiter, and Mercury all going through your House of Public Image making you think you have to be a Man (or Woman) for All Seasons. Without necessarily saying “bah humbug” you could manage to have a low key approach to the season and still have a lot of fun. Listen to Venus as she transits your House of Philosophy and aligns with solid Saturn; ”Moderation my child, moderation.”

Mr. Saturn’s Stars #62 Weekly Horoscopes for 11/26-12/2, 2018

Weekly Horoscopes for 11/26-12/2, 2018

 

 Hi kids!!! Welcome back to Mr. Saturn’s Stars. Thanksgiving is now in the books, which means Christmas is rapidly approaching. To quote our faithful Shih Tzu , Tinkerbell, “Fa-la-la-la-la……la-la….la…..la…….

 

 Aries- With the Sun, Jupiter, and Mercury retrograde all traveling through your House of Philosophy and squaring Mars in Pisces behind the scenes, you may find yourself feeling a lot more introspective than usual. As the Lunar Arc progresses through your Houses of Family, Creativity, Work, and Relationships you may also find yourself inordinately concerned with bigger issues than you might usually consider, such as, “why am I here,” or “what is the ultimate meaning of my life?” With Uranus retrograde in your sign moving into an inconjunct with Mercury retrograde later in the week, you could be feeling alienated by the frivolousness you perceive in those around you. If that’s the case, then consider going on a retreat or taking a meditation class; heed that inner call.

 

Taurus- Mercury retrograde in your House of Relationships is in an esoteric alignment with Uranus retrograde in your House of Confinement, which could mean that you’re suddenly and unexplainably starting to feel trapped in a situation that, up until now, you’ve always thought was okay. The Sun and Jupiter in your House of Transformation could in turn have you feeling a need to escape whatever this scenario may be, especially as they both square Mars in your House of Dreams. Of course this is all probably an illusion and quite likely you’re exactly where you belong, although on the other hand there might also be a grain of truth in what you’re feeling. With that in mind, if you have an unexpected itch this week, allow yourself to scratch it so you’ll know for sure what the truth is.

 

Gemini- How much do you care what others think of you? As the Sun and Jupiter pass through your House of Relationships and square Mars in your House of Public Image, you could find yourself worrying a bit more than usual about how you measure up in the judgment game out there in the arena of life.  With that in mind, be careful that you don’t end up getting ju-jitsued by your own guilt, as Saturn and Pluto in dutiful Capricorn oppose the Moon passing through your House of Self Worth, making you more susceptible than usual to criticism. A word to the wise, don’t let a boss or competitor get into your head or you could end up losing sight of who you really are in the fun house of mirrors they’re projecting on you.

 

Cancer- This could be a week where challenges arise on the job that will seem to test your patience, although perhaps what’s really being tested is your philosophy of life. For whatever reason, you’re the one who’s been chosen to battle the dragon or soothe the resident crazy person at work and how you go about it will determine not only how the situation gets rectified, but also how you will finally end up turning a corner and leaving guilt, frustration, and a lack of confidence behind. How is all that possible, you ask? These s.o.b’s are out to get me, for sure! It is certainly true that your adversaries may not like you, but if you let Venus at your Foundation kill ‘em with kindness and Uranus in your House of Career show them what crazy like a fox is all about, then it won’t matter if they like you or not, they will respect you and that will have it’s own rewards.

 

Leo- When the Moon passes through your sign this week it will align beautifully with both the Sun and Jupiter in your House of Creativity, likely giving you the necessary inspiration to deal with a particularly recalcitrant person who would seem to have you where the hairs are short. Things could be tense, but Saturn aligning with Mars in your House of Transformation should give you the chutzpah and the moxie to be able to skin a skunk and still walk away smelling like a rose. The element of surprise (as well as intelligence) will also be on your side, as Uranus retrograde opposes Venus in charming Libra and you demonstrate a complete and total mastery of Zen and the Art of getting what you need. Be prepared for the future to look so bright you may need shades.

 

Virgo- As Mars passes through your House of Relationships to square both the Sun and Jupiter in your Home Area, things could get a little heated with a partner and/or a family member. Because all of the above planets will be in mutable signs (Pisces and Sag) any conflicts that arise will most likely blow over as quickly as they appeared. The trick of it all will be not to buy into the agenda of someone you know is a con artist (even if you love them) and with Saturn in your House of Creativity aligning nicely with Mars, you should be able to speak softly and manage this situation quite well as long as you’re carrying the big stick of reality where everyone can see it.

 

Libra- Charming Venus transiting through your sign is the perfect cover for you right now, but only as long as the snarky rebelliousness you’re really feeling gets directed into the proper channels. I say this because with Jupiter and the Sun in your House of Communication squaring Mars in the mutable sign of Pisces, you are no doubt feeling your oats. A bad place to direct the sort of verbal harangue these placements might indicate would be toward a fool (or God forbid, a boss) you just can’t suffer any longer, a better place would be into a creative project where righteous indignation and vitriol can pass as humor. Pick your poison correctly and you may just live to kvetch another day.

 

Scorpio- The Sun and Jupiter in your House of Self Worth squaring Mars in your House of Creativity may make you seem possessed this week as you try to figure out a solution for an unexpected problem at work. You’re the perfect person to work on this because you’re the only one who gives a shit, which doesn’t bother you as long as it gets you away from all the dorks you work with. Just be careful not to get lost in this as a life and death challenge; after all you could call a repairman, this isn’t “Heart of Darkness.” With that said, Saturn in your House of Ideas will be aligning nicely with Mars so you very well could carry the day and get some good brownie points with the boss as well. Go ahead, flaunt that “Yankee Ingenuity.”

 

Sagittarius- This week could mark a turning point for you if you can manage not to let a long time nemesis rain on your parade yet again. The Sun and Jupiter in your sign is putting more than a little pep in your step, although with Mars transiting through your House of Family such enthusiasm is exactly the kind of motivation a stick in the mud would need to mess with you by spreading their prophecies of gloom and doom. The good news is that with Saturn in your House of Self Worth managing Mars like a cowboy herding mustangs, for once you may not be de-railed by this person but will instead either laugh at them or (more likely) feel sorry for the miserable, pathetic s.o.b. they are. After all, what kind of person can only feel joy if they make someone else feel bad? Really.

 

Capricorn- Saturn and Pluto in your sign are likely making you feel responsible, duty bound, guilty, and probably even trapped right now, however, don’t fret, the Sun and Jupiter are rallying the crowd behind the scenes, although with Mars in your House of Local Routines squaring that crowd, you’ll probably have to settle for a quiet glass of wine after work rather than a real vacation or anything special. Venus in your House of Public Image will help you to keep up appearances despite your bad mood, while Uranus at the bottom of your chart will inspire you to turn that quiet glass of wine into a bottle (or two) behind closed doors. Just make sure you dump the empties after dark so the neighbors don’t catch on.

 

Aquarius- Even with the Sun and Jupiter transiting your House of Dreams and causing you to pretend you’re unstoppable, the reality is that Mars in your House of Self Worth is literally frightening you to death, which is not necessarily a bad thing if the motivation of fight or flight turns into you getting what you want. Venus in your House of Philosophy opposing Uranus retrograde in your House of Thinking is causing a confrontation between the optimist and pessimist within you, while Mercury retrograde backing up into your House of Career is helping you to realize that the light you’re hoping for at the end of the tunnel will only be arrived at by passing through the darkness first.  As a poet once wrote, “Do not go gentle into that good night…Rage, rage against the dying of the light.”

 

Pisces- The Sun and Jupiter in your House of Career has you looking toward the mountaintop, while Mars in your sign is presenting you with the immediate challenge of how to begin the journey. Saturn in your House of Groups would suggest you reach out for some help from someone with more experience, perhaps an individual who has already climbed their own Matterhorn. Venus passing through your House of Transformation and Shared Resources would clearly re-iterate this partnership theme, while Uranus retrograde in your House of Self Worth would suggest not having too many expectations of what you need to learn until you actually learn it.

Mr. Saturn’s Stars #61 Weekly Horoscopes for 11/19-11/25, 2018

Weekly Horoscopes for 11/19-11/25, 2018

 

 Hi kids!!! Welcome back to Mr. Saturn’s Stars. The Thanksgiving Holiday will be happening this week, so as you’re stuffing your pie hole  make sure you take a moment to reflect on all you have to be thankful for (and even the stuff you didn’t care for if it ended up making you better in some way…..after all, that’s the way the evolutionary cookie crumbles).

 

 Aries- With this week’s Full Moon in your House of Communications opposing Jupiter in your House of Philosophy and squaring Mars behind the scenes, be careful that you don’t inadvertently hurt yourself (or someone else) with a “Freudian Slip.” Your emotions are very close to the surface now and if you’ve been experiencing frustrations or delays in the work sphere your editing faculties will likely be a little bit off. They say “loose lips sink ships,” well, just make sure you don’t deep six a lot of what you’ve worked for by saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. If you have something to vent do it at the gym instead of running your mouth.

 

Taurus- There are 4 major planets this week in your House of Transformation, a Full Moon in your House of Self Worth, and a bunch of decisions that need to be made. Saturn and Pluto in your House of Philosophy are promoting a slash and burn approach to anything that contributes to your comfort zone and prevents you from moving ahead, while Uranus retrograde behind the scenes has you itching to press forward regardless of the circumstances; in other words, you could exhaust yourself by trying to let go and hold on at the same time. Mercury retrograde starting off the week squaring Neptune could have you losing sight of the forest for the trees, so ask someone you trust for help. Just be willing to follow their advice if you know it’s true. Any hesitancy you’re feeling about change is merely the seductiveness of your comfort zone trying to anesthetize you; Don’t fall asleep at the wheel.

 

Gemini- This week’s Full Moon is in your sign and as it opposes Jupiter in your House of Partnerships and squares Mars in your House of Career, be prepared to take one step back to move two steps forward. Your ability to strategize and compromise will catch your enemies off guard and re-establish confidence in you from those who have been supportive but doubtful as of late. The question is can you transcend that ego of yours that needs to be in control? Saturn and Pluto in your House of Transformation are going to force you to let some things go, just realize that this will allow you travel lighter and farther than you ordinarily would if you were totally in control, especially if that control was just going to precipitate your demise by stretching you too thin and making you seem unqualified and ill prepared….A word to the wise, less is more.

 

Cancer- An epiphany could be coming to you this week as the Full Moon shines into your House of Secrets. Jupiter in your House of Work squaring Mars in your House of Philosophy, which then aligns nicely with Saturn in your House of Partnerships, could see you joining forces on the job with someone you ordinarily wouldn’t want to be associated with. The caveat here is that the advantage in this situation is all yours because you’re the only one this individual thinks they can trust. Politics no doubt makes for strange bedfellows, but if you can both benefit from this association give it a chance; particularly if you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Mercury retrograde squaring Neptune in your House of Philosophy could have you doubting all of the above, however Mr. Saturn thinks the illusion usually associated with this pair of planets will be about ultimately trusting your intuition rather than getting stuck in the illusions of conventional logic…..What do you think?

 

Leo- You’ve been procrastinating about an idea long enough. As the Moon goes Full in your House of Dreams and opposes Jupiter in your House of Creativity, the time has come to go out and make that first step. Mars in your House of Transformation aligning with Saturn in your House of Maintenance will be there to back you up once this project gets in gear, so don’t let yourself get overly bogged down in details at the onset, after all, needing to have everything figured out ahead of time has always been your excuse in the past not to start. (Touché.) With Uranus retrograde at your Mid-heaven, expect the unexpected, and with Venus finally going direct the unexpected might just end up being that the idea you’re about to take a risk on is a lot better than you realized. That’s not to say there aren’t a few glitches, but with Mercury currently retrograde it’ll all get figured out eventually. The question is, do you believe?

 

Virgo- Marlon Brando in “The Godfather” said, “keep your friends close and your enemies closer.” As the Full Moon ascends into your House of Career and enters into a testy alignment with Jupiter at your Foundation and Mars in your House of Partners, it should become quite apparent now who has your best interests in mind and who doesn’t. Make a note of who’s who, but don’t let on to anyone what you know. There may be some surprises, particularly if you realize a partner has been passive aggressively undermining you, however, with Saturn and Pluto in your House of Creativity you should have no problem seeing what needs to be capitalized on and what needs to be let go of. If you’re feeling some regrets about what needs to be done, just remember what happened to Don Corleone in the end….Que sera sera.

 

Libra- Now that Venus is direct in your sign and moving into an opposition with Uranus retrograde in your House of Partnerships, expect some feelers you sent out in the past to unexpectedly track you down. This should be further accentuated as Jupiter combines with the Sun in your House of Communications and aligns with the Full Moon in your House of Publishing and the dissemination of ideas. Mercury retrograde is also in your House of Communication and as it enters into a harsh angle with Neptune in your House of Work, don’t underestimate how much those who are seeking you out need you; be humble and all that, but don’t be a doormat.

 

Scorpio- The Full Moon in your House of Transformation opposes Jupiter in your House of Self Worth and as they both square Mars in your House of Creativity you are likely feeling it’s finally time to take decisive action in regards to controlling your own life. Saturn and Pluto in your House of Ideas have seen you going back and forth between considering the merits of being a worker or a boss, but the one thing you consistently shy away from thinking about is being your own Master (or Mistress). Venus behind the scenes opposing Uranus retrograde is probably finding you yet again in a position to have to bail out some incompetent superior. While this individual may have had the money to start this business, you’re the one who’s actually running it. A suggestion for the future; find an investor not a boss.

 

Sagittarius- As the Full Moon illuminates your House of Relationships and squares Mars in your House of Home, the time has likely come for you to get out of the nest and begin your own life. Jupiter in your sign knows you’re ready, but Neptune also in your House of Home has you hedging on whether or not you’re willing and able. Really? Having your own life is not just about money (which you have) but also about maintenance, which you lazily and co-dependently always palm off on someone else. Just don’t underestimate the control that you’re giving away by being too lazy to take care of your own shit. Saturn in your House of Self Worth is also impacting Mars in your home area, so if you’re willing to take responsibility then you can have true freedom in return, after all, that’s the most important bill you’ll ever have to pay.

 

Capricorn- Having Saturn and Pluto in your sign for a while has likely put everything you’ve been used to into disarray. As the Full Moon in your House of Work squares Mars in your House of Communication, now would probably be a good time for you to establish some new routines that will draw on all the change you’ve been through. Venus going direct in your House of Career should see you finally getting some rewards for any hard work you might have done in the past, although Mercury retrograde behind the scenes might still have you worrying about stuff that you shouldn’t and waiting for the shoe to drop. The antidote for this funk is to let the Sun and Jupiter lead you in a jailbreak from your House of Confinement….as the man once said, “Follow your bliss.”

 

Aquarius- Too many choices can lead to confusion and that might be exactly where you are now as you contemplate a myriad of possibilities that exist in a new situation. Mars in your House of Self Worth has you feeling quite ambitious, although where the Warrior Planet is now in Pisces is more about strategy and timing rather than overwhelming something with energy and brute force. Venus passing through your House of Philosophy to oppose Uranus in your House of Communication is about killing them with kindness, so be willing to be patient and negotiate and you could go far in a what might currently appear to be a chaotic situation. Saturn and Pluto behind the scenes will keep you going two steps forward and one step back for the next little while, so try to be patient and go with the flow, your future may depend on it.

 

Pisces- Mars and Neptune in your sign is not necessarily the best combination, as their qualities of action and illusion can tend to make it feel as though you’re trying to drive a car through a heavy fog. Likewise, the Full Moon at the bottom of your chart and Jupiter at the top is like the foam overflowing out of a beer mug, so make sure you start out sipping slowly in a new situation or you could end up with a wet face and very little beer. Mercury retrograde in your House of Career squaring Neptune could have you believing that everything that glitters is gold, however, be careful that your check book is balanced and you’re not assuming you can draw on resources that aren’t really there. It’s true that “when you ain’t got nothing, you got nothing to lose,” but face it, debt can accumulate as easily as dust, so try not to neglect what needs to be taken care of right now.