Mr. Saturn’s Stars #60 Weekly Horoscopes for 11/12-11/18, 2018

Weekly Horoscopes for 11/12-11/18, 2018

 

Hi kids!!! Welcome back to Mr. Saturn’s Stars. This week we have election recounts in both Florida and Arizona, a new henchman, uh, I mean acting Attorney General, for Mr. Rump, more senseless gun violence by a mad man, and Mercury will be going retrograde……oh well, as the saying goes, S.N.A.F.U

 

Aries- As Mercury slows down this week in advance of going retrograde, it will square Neptune in your House of Confinement, bringing up the whole notion of who’s in control of your life. Of course you’d like to think you’re in charge of what’s going on, but if you take a moment to listen to Jupiter in your House of Philosophy as it squares Mars behind the scenes, you might just start to realize how much you give your power away by reacting to certain provocations you’d do better to ignore. Uranus retrograde has backed up into your sign and as it approaches an opposition to Venus going station/direct, try not to get so frustrated with any delays that are going on with a long term project you’re involved with; someone might begin to think you have no confidence.

 

Taurus- With Mercury and Jupiter in your House of Transformation you’ll likely be chomping at the bit to introduce some form of change into your life now, however, with Neptune and Mars in Pisces squaring Mercury and Jupiter respectively, don’t try to push matters any faster than circumstances will permit. Allowing yourself to become overly impatient could find you having to retrace some steps after having impetuously jumped forward before the time was right. Uranus retrograde is moving backward into your House of Confinement, and as it opposes Venus standing still in your House of Routines, expected the unexpected in regards to delays and annoying misunderstandings. Remember, if you can keep your cool and go with the flow, next week could see you in the driver’s seat when Mars aligns with Venus and a very special helper could come into your life.

 

Gemini- You might want to rethink how others see you this week as both Neptune and Mars in your House of Public Image square both Mercury retrograde and Jupiter in your House of Partnerships. Being too suspicious could find you biting off your nose to spite your face, although being too nice could find you being a doormat for someone you should be riding roughshod over. Uranus going retrograde back into your House of Groups will make it hard for you to see anyone else’s opinion as being anything more than veiled criticism, although as Venus comes to a standstill in your House of Creativity try to be patient; time is on your side as long as you’re not in a rush. Let a situation at work jell for a bit, there’ll be plenty of time next week to make up for taking it slow now.

 

Cancer- Neptune and Mars in your House of Philosophy later in the week could have you feeling very pessimistic, especially with Mercury going retrograde in your House of Work just as Jupiter squares Mars and makes you painfully aware that you’re spinning your wheels in a dead end situation at work. Uranus moving backwards into your House of Career and opposing Venus standing still in you House of Foundations could be just the inspiration you need in this seemingly hopeless situation to say, “**ck it,” and take a risk on something new, after all, if not now, when, and if not here, where? Next week as Mars and Venus align you may just find yourself transformed into a fount of ideas instead of the dry well you see yourself as now.

 

Leo- Reminiscing about better days could be either a subconscious strategy for remaining in your comfort zone, or a conscious one to get your ass in gear and do something different to kick-start yourself into a more auspicious future. It’s up to you. Jupiter in your House of Creativity and Mars in your House of Transformation should provide all the torque you need to get things moving, especially if you’re willing to react to the provocations of Uranus retrograde entering your House of Philosophy and take a new perspective on what is more important in your life now, comfort or meaning? It’s not a trick question, just one that you need to be honest with yourself about. Neptune in your House of Transformation squaring Mercury going station/retrograde in your House of Creativity could give you either deep insights or facile explanations about your current state of affairs; you’ll know which is which by how good or bad you feel after making a choice.

 

Virgo- Frustrations on the home front may be more about a subconscious desire for freedom rather than a need to renovate anything or move somewhere else. Think of your living space as a metaphor of yourself, you can remain trapped in your habits and comfort zone or else you could reach out and embrace something off the beaten path of your usual routine. Saturn in your House of Creativity could be either a restrictive or an organizing influence in this situation, but as Uranus backs up into your House of Transformation to oppose Venus in your House of Self Worth you’ll never know for sure what inscrutable Saturn is thinking unless you are willing to risk trying something different than your same old same old.

 

Libra- As Venus comes to a standstill this week in your sign, you could be feeling vulnerable and hence are surprised by a response you get from someone regarding something you’ve created. There’s no accounting for taste and opinions are like noses, everybody has one, yet you should ask yourself why you feel so naked whenever someone reacts to something you’ve put out there? It may be time to realize just how low an opinion you have of yourself if someone liking something you’ve done is such a surprise or, if any level of criticism at all makes you feel like you’re being told you’re a failure. Creating anything brings responsibilities, meaning that mistakes are inevitable and success is impossible unless we are willing to accept what it takes to make something better and then act accordingly.

 

Scorpio- Your intensity is usually what puts others on their heels, although with intellectual Mercury and Jupiter in your House of Self Worth squaring both Mars and Neptune in your House of Romance, you could be the one now who is a total “Fool for Love.” This will no doubt be exacerbated by Venus standing still behind the scenes as impetuous Uranus retrograde freezes her like a deer in the headlights as he moves in and out of your your House of Relationships. Saturn and Pluto in your House of Communication will also likely find you tongue tied as well, but don’t worry, your goofiness will make you eminently approachable so sit back and enjoy being swept off your feet by a prince or princess charming.

 

Sagittarius- Now that Jupiter has returned home to your sign you should feel inspired to move beyond any obstacles that may have been holding you back. Later in the week as Mars pulls into your House of Family and Mercury goes retrograde in your sign, be prepared for squabbles big and small. A word to the wise though, don’t be so willing to engage individuals who’ve annoyed you in the past, use the transcendental qualities of Jupiter to ignore these people like they were in another universe (which essentially they are if you don’t live on planet ridiculous). If you have a message to get out there or even a presentation to make, a trine at the end of the week between Venus and Mars in your Houses of Groups and Communications respectively should give you the necessary charisma and gift of gab to make you an unqualified success……cheers!

 

Capricorn- Mercury going station/retrograde behind the scenes and squaring Neptune in your House of Communications could end up making your interactions with people this week quite confusing. You may have trouble remembering what you’ve either said or heard and with the Sun squaring Mars in your House of Self Worth you’ll also be more than likely to think that the other person is needlessly being a jerk about it, which could very well be the case, however, if you hope to get anything done just make sure that your frustration doesn’t get the best of you.With Venus retrograde transiting Libra and your House of Public Image you’ll probably have the necessary charm to get through any misunderstandings, but only if you can keep quiet and try not to take anyone too seriously (including yourself).

 

Aquarius- It will be very easy this week to put your foot in your mouth, so if you’re not the featured speaker at a contortionist’s convention make sure you watch what you say. Mercury will be going retrograde in your House of Groups and as it squares Neptune in your House of Self Worth make sure you keep your ego in check as well, especially with Uranus retrograde backing up into your House of Communication to oppose Venus retrograde in your House of Philosophy; you’re not right no matter what, so don’t force someone to have to tell you that. As both Saturn and Pluto get closer to each other behind the scenes you could end up being penalized in unexpected ways for breaking protocol, so try to play nice with the other children, even if you’re convinced you are the only one who knows what’s going on……Not!!!

 

Pisces- As Mars enters your sign this week with Neptune already there, don’t be surprised if you start to feel like you’re driving a car in the fog and getting nowhere. Mercury going station/retrograde in your House of Career and squaring Neptune will likely make this feeling that you’re accomplishing nothing even worse, just as Jupiter squaring Mars will make you want to go even faster. And if that isn’t enough, Uranus retrograde will be backing up into your House of Self Worth to oppose Venus retrograde in your House of Transformation, which could be translated as, “be careful and don’t assume anything”…..Like Felix in the Odd Couple once said, when you assume you make an “ass” out of “u” and “me.” Consider this observation carefully before you try to push anything forward this week.

Mr. Saturn’s Stars #52 Weekly Horoscopes for 9/10-9/16, 2018

Weekly Horoscopes for 9/10-9/16, 2018

 

 “Human kind cannot bear very much reality.”

-T.S. Eliot

 

Hi kids!!! Welcome back to Mr. Saturn’s Stars. Believe it or not we’ve been doing this for a year already…..Has it really been that long? Time flies, huh? I ‘ve tried to keep it as real as I can, but who knows what’s real, right?… At any rate, let’s just keep plugging along and no doubt reality will find us, it always does……..

 

Aries- As the Sun and Mercury pass through your House of Routines you will feel a need for things to be organized, yet with Uranus retrograde in your House of Self Worth and Venus in your House of Transformation both squaring Mars entering Aquarius and your House of Groups, what you feel is necessary in a professional or social situation may be so at odds with what the circumstances will allow that chaos may be the rule of the universe right now rather than order. Of course this will frustrate you, but it may also end up bringing out some hidden talents that may just make you realize you’re often at your best when your pissed off.

 

Taurus- If you have an idea that’s close to your heart that you would like to see become a manifest reality, you may just have to be willing to struggle with resistance from some individual or group who doesn’t particularly share your aesthetics.  This could get testy as Uranus in your sign opposes Venus in your House of Partnerships and squares Mars in your House of Public Image. Don’t let anyone tell you who or what you can be, especially with Mercury coming into opposition with Neptune; this person may have an axe to grind and there’s no reason you should agree to be their tool for it. Jupiter aligning with Pluto should aid in finding whatever support you may need in the face of any opposition, that is, if you’re willing to believe in yourself without reservation.

 

Gemini- Unexpected difficulties at work may require you to modify some long-standing attitudes you have about the rules of engagement when someone disagrees with you. Uranus behind the scenes squaring Mars may make you want to kick ass and take no prisoners, but Venus in Scorpio could have a better strategy; don’t play to a role someone else has typecast you in, after all that would mean they’re in control and we all know that isn’t something you can live with. Jupiter aligning with both Pluto and Neptune would suggest that the strategy of the black widow spider may be best for this situation; in other words, invite them to dinner, but don’t let them know they’re the entrée until they’ve drank enough of your wine. Cheers!

 

Cancer- You can’t be the star of your life if you let people indiscriminately re-write the script you imagine for yourself. Mars in your House of Transformation squaring both Venus in your House of Creativity and Uranus retrograde in your House of Dreams are trying to inspire you now to fight back against anyone who feels they can typecast you based on their selfishness, prejudices, or ignorance. Jupiter is also in that House of Creativity, and as he aligns with Neptune in your House of Philosophy and Pluto in your House of Relationships, be willing to think outside of the box, not the one others have tried to put you in, but rather the one you’ve inadvertantly constructed because of the way you have learned to think about yourself. “It’ your thing, do what you wanna do, no one can tell ya who to sock it to.”

 

Leo- If you’re feeling a need to rebel, take a moment to ask yourself why instead of assuming that because your feeling oppressed it’s someone else’s fault. Mars entering your House of Relationships and squaring both Uranus retrograde in your House of Public Image and Venus at your Foundation is a testy set of aspects that could be as much about how you feel about yourself as about how others may be treating you. Jupiter is also at your Foundation and as he aligns with Neptune in your House of Transformation you may be asked to realize a very simple premise….If someone calls you an idiot and you argue with them about it, you are……Get it?

 

Virgo- With the Sun and Mercury currently in your sign, you will no doubt be focused on trying to make everything just right for you and yours, however, don’t get too carried away. Finding too many things wrong might just be your mindset now rather than the actual state of affairs; and remember, nobody  likes a nit-picker. If you’re willing to let Jupiter aligning with Neptune show you how to go with the flow, then Pluto in your House of Creativity may finally see you learning about Zen and the Art of, well, anything you want to do. If you’re not willing to flow with things, then Uranus squaring Mars in your House of Routines will likely see you battling with just about everything right now, but mostly yourself. A word to the wise…

 

Libra- The Sun and Mercury behind the scenes aligning with Jupiter in your House of Self Worth will likely have you feeling very introspective now, and with Neptune also involved in this from your House of Work, you may end up being too hard on yourself as a result. Pluto and Saturn in your House of Foundations are speaking to a fundamental change going on in your life, just don’t assume you can know what that will be before it actually happens. Venus in your House of Self Worth squaring Mars in your House of Creativity represents the part of you that will rise to any occasion, and with Uranus contributing to this from your House of Transformation expect the unexpected…and that could be something great, so pick your head up and keep your eyes open!!!

 

Scorpio- Jupiter and Venus in your sign aligning with Neptune in your House of Romance and Pluto in your House of Communication likely means that you’ll probably be able to get away with saying just about anything to anybody now, so go ahead, ask for whatever it is you want from a boss, colleague, or lover. Mars in your House of Foundations and Uranus in your House of Relationships could see a situation either at home or work take a very weird turn (maybe because of what you just asked?) but don’t assume it’s bad. When we choose to expand our reality the ghosts of yesterday may just become the Angels of tomorrow, if you believe. In the meantime, try not to hold onto an old morality that’s trying to judge a change while it’s happening……. That’s God’s business (he, she, or it).

 

Sagittarius- If weird stuff has been happening on the job you can most assuredly blame it on Uranus retrograde, especially this week as it squares Mars in your House of Communication and makes everybody seem erratic and “stressed.” Jupiter and Venus behind the scenes aligning with Mercury and Pluto would suggest you probably have some clever commentary to offer on your co-workers neurosis, although unless you aspire to do stand-up you should heed your own observations and read the writing on the wall. No one is going to do well in this situation who isn’t already doing well, and if they’re the ones acting out the weird and obnoxious shit, then get out of there. Saturn in your House of Self Worth would suggest you polish up that resume, but in the meantime, as you’re trying to find something, why don’t you give stand-up a try, it may just improve your interview skills?

 

Capricorn- Jupiter and Venus together in your House of Dreams represent luck, and as they align with Pluto in your sign and Neptune in your House of Communications the question is, what are you waiting for, huh, the vision of something better to imagine you? Uranus in your House of Creativity aligning with Saturn and squaring Mars in your House of Self Worth would indicate frustration with your current circumstances, but rather than getting mad at yourself do something courageous instead. Be like Senator Corey Booker when he challenged the old white farts in the Senate to “bring it on.” The Sun in your House of Philosophy aligning with Pluto is a very powerful creative and regenerative influence. Take a risk on what you feel.

 

Aquarius- Mars in your sign squaring both Venus in your House of Career and Uranus retrograde in your Home and Foundations area is spurring you on to get your act together, just make sure that’s what you’re doing and not just trying to morph into what you think somebody else wants. Saturn and Pluto sparring behind the scenes represent an overhaul of how you feel about yourself, which is distinctly different than worrying about what others think of you and then judging yourself accordingly; make a note of it! Jupiter in your House of Career embodies your grandest ambitions, while Neptune in your House of Self Worth is about whether or not you believe yourself worthy of such high aspirations. Figure this out before you do anything; it’s key!!!

 

Pisces- The Sun and Mercury going through your House of Relationships and opposing Neptune in your sign could have you surprised by the depth of feeling you have for someone as a relationship changes from a discussion of how it’s not working to it actually ending. Mars squaring Uranus in your House of Communications has you frustrated at not being able to express your sense of loss, especially when not too long ago you felt quite able to express your dissatisfaction with what was going on. Although Neptune rules your sign, it’s energies are far beyond the limited confines of our understanding, particularly when the God of the Sea likes to teach his lessons to us by first leading us to believe one thing only then to discover we are actually lost at sea without any idea of where we really are. If you’re feeling adrift right now, all I can say is remember Christopher Columbus and just keep sailing.

Mr. Saturn’s Stars #31 Weekly Horoscopes for 4/9-4/15, 2018

Weekly horoscopes for 4/9-4/15, 2018

 

 Hi kids!!! Welcome to another week of Mr. Saturn’s Stars. Spring has been with us now for a bit and as a Poet once wrote,

“April is the cruelest month, breeding

Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing

Memory and desire, stirring

Dull roots with spring rain.”

Not to mention frigging snow as well! At any rate, let’s try to get some insight into those memories and desires we all have and stir some of those dull roots with some new horoscopes. Ready?… Steady…. Let’s go!!!

 

 Aries- As the Sun in your sign this week squares Pluto you will likely be feeling both ambitious and impatient. Add to this the fact that Mercury (also in your sign) will be going station/direct in an extended square to Saturn in your House of Career and it’s likely that there could be some unexpected obstacles in your way as well. With Venus transiting through her home sign of Taurus and your house of Self Worth, the question you need to be asking yourself at this critical juncture is, what’s more important, recognition or money? How you answer this could make a world of difference, especially if someone you’re depending on turns out to be a flake and losing it with them could end up having some inconvenient financial consequences. Let Neptune behind the scenes help you to remain calm by realizing that successful people don’t end up biting off their nose to spite their face.

 

Taurus- With both Mercury Retrograde and Uranus behind the scenes in your chart squaring Saturn and Pluto in your House of Public Image, there is a great unsettledness now as you try to move forward with your agenda amidst a world that seems adamant about taking its time. Likewise, Venus in your sign aligning with Mars in your House of Philosophy and Neptune in your House of Dreams represents the perfectionist in you that cannot settle for anything less than what you have envisioned. At this point, Jupiter Retrograde in your House of Partnerships could either calm you down and help you see the forest for the trees here, or else end up turning your whole life into a confrontation of irresistible force meets immovable object. Ultimately it’s up to you, but then again that’s where we started. Try to be patient until Mercury goes direct over the weekend, you’ll be glad you did.

 

Gemini- Mercury is your ruling planet and with it going station/direct this week in an extended square to Saturn there could be issues now surrounding what you need as opposed to what a group or situation expects of you. As the Sun squares Pluto and inconjuncts Jupiter you will likely be required to rethink how your hopes and dreams in this situation and consider how they may need to evolve. It is not necessarily about getting what you want or not getting what you want, but instead realizing what a situation can or can’t allow so that everyone involved can end up with what they truly need. The New Moon conjunct Uranus over the weekend in your House of Dreams could bring you some unexpected rewards, just be sure to make a mental note about how useless much of your previous worry and frustration was.

 

Cancer- Venus in your House of Dreams aligning with Pluto and Neptune symbolizes a rebirth as you finally manifest something you had always fantasized about but never thought would actually come to pass. Or did you always know you would attain this goal but instead chose to make yourself suffer by whining about it? As Mercury ends its current retrograde and goes station/direct in an extended square to Saturn, it’s important that you sort out this inner dynamic of constantly taking one step back to go two steps forward. Of course realizing that you do this would make the journey to your next dream a little easier, but more importantly you also need to consciously acknowledge your evolution and realize the strength and creativity it took to get where you are. As the New Moon conjuncts Uranus over the weekend, make sure to pinch yourself and say out loud, “This isn’t a dream, it’s my destiny, and I created it.”

 

Leo- This could be a time of extreme dissonance in regards to your thought patterns, however, the good news is that this unsettledness is probably a harbinger of a whole new frame of mind emerging that will get you out of the rut you’ve been feeling stuck in for a while. Mercury going station/direct in an extended square to Saturn will set the stage for you to challenge authority, while Pluto aligning with Venus in your House of Career will help you find the resources to establish your own sovereignty, at which point you will be ready to be your own boss if you can stand up and face the responsibility. Mars aligning with Neptune is the steam to get to the dream if you’re willing to stoke the fire, so make an effort to break out of your comfort zone where you criticize everything ahead of time so you don’t have to try.

 

Virgo- Venus in your House of Philosophy aligning with Mars in your House of Creativity is an extremely regenerative influence and with Neptune at their midpoint in your House of Relationships this is a time when you can bring a great deal of love and healing to all your associations. If there is a downside to this influence it would involve the illusory aspects of Neptune, which could allow you to be taken advantage of by a manipulative though charming person. In other words, you’re nice enough to risk being not nice if that’s what the situation calls for. Mercury will end its retrograde and go station/direct in your House of Transformation, where it will then square Saturn in your House of Creativity, thus making this a time when you need to be preparing for any potential snafu’s before trying to move ahead with a project, especially if you’re going to be dependent on receiving help from someone who has not always been reliable in the past.

 

Libra- Even though the symbol for your sign is the scales and you’re known for always seeking balance, the Astrological joke about Libra is that he or she is simply “an Aries who went to charm school.” Translation; patience is a lesson we all struggle with, so with Mercury in your House of Partnerships going station/direct in an extended square with Saturn in your House of Foundations realize that all the charm in the world isn’t going to help you avoid what needs to be done when it needs to be done. The good news though is Venus in your House of Transformation lining up with Neptune in your work area and Mars at home will likely turn the tide your way if you’re willing to be patient and go with the flow. That is a big if though, especially since Saturn hasn’t given you a break yet this year and your “patience account” is a bit overdrawn. Nevertheless, try to keep the faith and remember the saying, “All things must pass.”

 

Scorpio- A health concern this week could be more of an annoyance than a real problem, although if it gets you to slow down and rest then it is actually a blessing in disguise. Venus in your House of Partnerships aligning with Pluto in your House of Communication is another blessing coming your way although in this case it should come in the form of a long standing admirer finally getting the stones to make their move on you. With Neptune in your House of Romance expect this person to be as corny as Alfalfa courting Darla in The Little Rascals, but don’t worry, you’ll love it……hahaha!!! That is unless the New Moon conjunct Uranus over the weekend brings up your usual control issues….Oh no!!!

 

Sagittarius- Hopefully over the last couple of weeks you’ve been busy preparing your resume, planning your escape from prison, or at least attempting to organize something that will get you out of the rut you’re in. If that’s the case, then Mercury going station/direct this week is the perfect time to recheck everything before you bust your move. Venus in your House of Work aligning with Mars in your House of Self Worth should bring you success as long as you feel you deserve it, meaning that if you don’t speak up how will anyone have a chance to see how smart you are. Remember, it ‘s the squeaky wheel that gets the grease so repeat after me……”SQUEEEEK !!! SQUEEEEEEK !!!

 

Capricorn- With the Sun, Mercury Retrograde, and Uranus all in Aries and your House of Symbolic Foundations squaring Mars, Saturn, and Pluto in your sign, there’s undoubtedly “A Whole Lotta Shakin Goin On” down there in the deep recesses of your being. The question though is what, if anything, are you actually doing differently while the earth is moving under your feet? Hopefully with Neptune in your House of Thinking and Communication you are not trying to maintain an outmoded comfort zone by worrying and complaining and playing the victim, but are instead letting the confrontation between an irresistible force (Aries) and an immovable object (Capricorn) motivate you to find your own sense of truth and peace even if that means going beyond whatever you had formerly thought was sensible. Mr. Saturn’s haiku this week is for you;

 

“Impossible just

Means that your belief structure

Doesn’t have windows”

 

Aquarius- Mars, Saturn, and Pluto are all driving you onward from behind the scenes, but to where? The Sun, Mercury Retrograde, and Uranus are all clamoring in your ear, but what are they saying? Much of what you’re compelled to do now is coming from a place of lack, or not feeling like you’re enough, and it’s important for you to realize that to feel that way is like being a cup with a hole in the bottom-you’ll never be fulfilled. The New Moon with Uranus over the weekend will spur you on to make even greater efforts, but effort and energy are not what you need right now. What you need at this point in time is some peace of mind and a little self-appreciation so you can relax. Venus in your House of Romance may be able to provide this for you now as she entices Mars (and maybe even Saturn and Pluto as well) to take a break. Now if they can stop for a bit, why can’t you?

 

Pisces- Impatience can often be a very negative statement we make about ourselves while not even realizing we are doing it. With Neptune in your sign and Mercury Retrograde in your House of Self Worth squaring Saturn in your House of Dreams, you are clearly mistaking insecurity for ambition now if you insist on pushing ahead instead of reading the writing on the wall that’s trying to tell you to slow down and rethink a few things. Venus moving into a harmonious alignment with Mars indicates that the potential for your success is certainly there, but since these two planets are in stable earth signs it is important now to move slowly and steadily. Assume that any obstacle that arises is a chance to make whatever you’re doing better and not necessarily a verdict on your ultimate success or failure. If you can get that then you can get what you want.

Mr. Saturn’s Stars #30 weekly Horoscopes for 4/2-4/8, 2018

Weekly Horoscopes for 4/2-4/8, 2018

 

Hi kids!!! Welcome back to Mr. Saturn’s Stars. I’m sorry about there being no horoscopes last week. I hope you didn’t have to go too far to find a substitute for the abuse you usually get here. At any rate I’m back, so if you’re ready for some snarky TLC let’s get going.

 

Aries- The Lunar Arc for you this week will begin in your House of Transformation and then continue through your Houses of Philosophy and Career, suggesting that this period could turn out to be a real psycho/spiritual turning point for you. The Regal and Lovely Benefics (Jupiter and Venus) are each aligning to support Pluto, Mars, and Saturn in your House of Public Image, meaning the terms “dress for success” and “you’re only as pretty as you feel” could be entirely interchangeable for you right now as you manage to light up wherever you are with that indefinable, yet irresistible something that makes people just want to throw money at it. A word to the wise, just make sure you don’t go head tripping as a result of this new charisma and inadvertently end up in someone’s  back pocket.

 

Taurus- With Venus transiting through your sign you are a very attractive tomato right now; just don’t allow the merchandise to be handled too much. Saturn in your House of Philosophy could represent the Sugar Daddy you dream about that would make your life easier, like a steady job with benefits and no prospects, while on the other hand Mars in the same House is the Back Door Man who would undoubtedly make your life more exciting, yet because of him you could end up “Like a Rolling Stone.” Hmmm, decisions, decisions! Jupiter Retrograde in Scorpio aligning with Pluto in Capricorn could add to this indecision by seeming like a shadow instead of a rainbow pointing to that pot of gold you’re always dreaming/worrying about, but that’s only because you need to learn that real wealth exists in the deep, dark recesses of your self rather than as a gift given to you by someone else.

 

Gemini- As Mars, Saturn, and Pluto all pass through your House of Death and Transformation, realize that the commitments you are contemplating now are not merely concepts but are rather the seeds that will grow to be harvested as your destiny. With that in mind, don’t be in a rush to get something moving when you’re still trying to figure out exactly where it’s headed or if you even want to go that way. Mercury Retrograde in your House of Dreams and Venus behind the scenes both represent the need to make sure you think through all your options before putting your name on the dotted line. In short, Mr. Saturn would advise, “measure twice and cut once,” unless of course you feel you have the time and materials to waste.

 

Cancer- Make sure you keep your rally cap on this week as Mercury Retrograde in Aries and your House of Career runs into a roadblock from the Malefics (Mars and Saturn) in your House of Partnerships. You may be doubting a course of action you have recently taken involving a matter at work, however, don’t automatically assume that because things are currently delayed that you have made a bad decision. Hope should come later in the week from Venus all decked out in her Taurus finery in your House of Dreams as she distracts those bullying Malefics from picking on poor Mercury and brings new meaning to the old saying, “it ain’t over until the fat lady sings,” although Lady Venus ain’t no fatty and she won’t be doing any singing, if you get my drift (ooh la la). Score one for the Femme Fatale.

 

Leo- Mercury Retrograde in your House of Philosophy is being cornered on a dead end street by a couple of thugs from your House of Daily Responsibilities in the form of Mars and Saturn (aka “The Malefics”). The question now for you my fine, furry friend is whether or not the threat being posed here is real or imagined. Is the message you are understanding from Mercury’s situation merely illustrating that you will never be anything more than a victim of circumstance in your life or will you instead take a risk and make those bullies fight for the right to oppress you? Just like the Cowardly Lion in the Wizard of Oz, perhaps some courage on your part now would reveal that these aren’t really bullies at all, but in fact teachers who have appeared to help you learn to stand up for yourself. “If it’s your first time in Fight Club you must fight!”

 

Virgo- With Mercury Retrograde in your House of Death and Intimacy squaring Mars and Saturn in your House of Creativity and Romance, perhaps this is a time for you to review rather than move ahead in regards to a project or even a relationship you’ve been involved in. As Hemingway once wrote in “The Sun Also Rises” regarding the ill fated affair of the story’s Hero and Heroine, “Isn’t it pretty to think so?” Contemplate these words well, for Neptune in your House of Relationships has you wrapped up in that psychosis some think of as love, yet at the same time you have also lost sight of the forest for the trees in regards to if you even really know this person you’re with. For your own safety make sure that all that glitters is in fact gold when it comes to matters of the heart. Mr. Saturn’s haiku this week is for you;

 

“I have never had

My heart broken but I have

Dropped it a few times”

 

Libra- If it feels as though you are living in a time warp while the past and the future seem to be “drawing and quartering” you, take heart, for this too shall pass. Mercury Retrograde in your House of Relationships squaring Mars and Saturn in your House of Symbolic Foundations could bring back a blast from the past in the form of someone whose last appearance in your life occurred when you originally broke through to being the person you have been up until now. Hopefully this will help you to realize that time is not linear, but a circle, and you have merely arrived back at your core issues for a necessary evolutionary review, kind of like flipping a pancake so it can get cooked on the other side. You are more formidable now than you realize and as Pluto aligns with Jupiter Retrograde you will soon see that the challenges of the past couple of months will end up turning into some pretty valuable currency as the Future comes to meet you more than halfway.

 

Scorpio- The Lunar Arc begins this week in your sign and then travels through your Houses of Earnings and Communication, which along with Mercury Retrograde in your House of Shared Resources, will probably have you thinking a lot right now about how much you’re getting out of a certain situation as opposed to how much you should be getting from it. Mars and Saturn in your House of Creativity will likely have you feeling stifled, which believe it or not could lead you to one of the best ideas you’ve ever had due to a helping hand from Venus in your House of Philosophy. You’ll only ever make as much as you feel you deserve and Jupiter aligning with Pluto are just the pair to motivate you to take a hard look in the mirror until you can honestly say to yourself, “Hell Yeah I’m worth it!”  By the weekend when the Sun and Mars start grappling together you should be all over the situation like white on rice!!!

 

Sagittarius- The Moon in your sign will start the week in a square with Neptune, which could have you feeling either overly optimistic or pessimistic. Mercury retrograde in your House of Creativity in harsh aspect to a whole bunch of Capricorn planets in your House of Self Worth will eventually set matters straight and in all likelihood be about rethinking or, in some cases, redoing something you already thought was a done deal. If that’s the case, take it easy, it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person because you overlooked something or made a mistake, no matter what you may hear emotional Jupiter rant about behind the scenes. Right now Mars and Saturn in your House of Earnings may have you feeling stuck and under appreciated, but stay calm and keep plugging. As the song goes, “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need.”

 

Capricorn- With Venus in your House of Creativity and Romance speeding into a beneficial aspect with Mars and Saturn conjunct in your sign, it will be important to realize that the seeds you sow and the deeds you perform at this time will be very important in establishing a foundation for a future you can’t fully picture just yet. Neptune in your House of Communication will be involved in this as well, meaning that there is a strong likelihood that both romance and art could play very important roles in transforming how you think about yourself. Jupiter will also have something to do with this as he aspects Pluto as traditionally these two together usually imply increased monetary resources, meaning you should stop  worrying about the small stuff and just go ahead and get busy doing what needs to be done.

 

Aquarius- There are times when you can be extremely critical of both yourself and others and with Mercury Retrograde in your House of Communication angling against Mars, Saturn, and Pluto behind the scenes, this could be the time when you finally begin to realize what that’s all about. Neptune in your House of Self Worth has been playing with you for a while, which has only been about trying to get you to see that your value in life is not determined by the approval of others, whether that means always feeling you need to be doing more or else constantly striving to be the center of attention. A simple joke that Mr. Saturn has always liked goes, “Descartes said “to do is to be”, Buddha said “to be is to do”, and Sinatra sang “Do be do be do…” Think about it.

 

Pisces- This has probably been a year of struggle for you so far and with Mercury Retrograde in your House of Self Worth squaring Mars, Saturn, and Pluto in your House of Dreams, the likelihood is that this battle will be continuing for a while longer. The good news though is if you can hear what Mercury Retrograde is trying to tell you now then some very meaningful insights await in regards to improving your relationships with others and feeling better about yourself. Venus in sensual Taurus and your House of Communication could represent the influence of someone who can help you let go of some of those anxieties you have always thought were just who you are, when in actuality they really represent certain coping mechanisms and who you have learned to be. Things are different now, maybe it’s time for you to be different as well?

Mr. Saturn’s Stars #22 Weekly Horoscopes for 2/5-2/11, 2018

Weekly Horoscopes  for 2/5 – 2/11, 2018

 

 Hi kids! Glad to see you back at Mr. Saturn’s Stars.

 

“I said to my soul, be still, and wait without hope

For hope would be hope for the wrong thing; wait without

love

For love would be love of the wrong thing; there is yet

faith

But the faith and the love and the hope are all in the waiting.”

-T.S. Eliot

 

Aries- The Lunar Arc for this week could bring you some very valuable lessons about relationships that you’re convinced you’ve already learned. You hard charging Rams don’t like to reflect too much or linger any longer than you have to, which means you probably won’t get it this time around either.  The Moon  squaring Pluto in your House of Relationships will likely make you unable to accept a certain situation so that you’ll probably end up feeling unfulfilled and restricted by it. A conjunction with Jupiter in your House of Transformation will then make you feel a need to resist being controlled at all costs. The Moon conjunct Mars in your House of Philosophy will next allow you to justify running away or rebelling, but then successive conjunctions of the Moon with Saturn and Pluto in your House of Public Image and Career will leave you feel lonely and misunderstood. At this point you’ll  probably convince yourself that it’s an either/or situation between a relationship and a career so that  distracting yourself through work will seem like the only justifiable solution for you to be you. While all this is going on The Sun, Venus, and Mercury will all be in your House of Groups and aligning nicely with Uranus in your sign, meaning that as you sabotage a close relationship with your insecurity, your public image will appear to be that of a charismatic and free spirit; talk about parallel universes! Mr. Saturn’s shaking his head; he’s got nothing on this one.

Taurus- This is a time when you need to consciously take control of the circumstances in your life. The Sun, Mercury, and Venus are all in your House of Career and Public Image and they all more or less square Jupiter in your House of Partnerships. This means don’t be aftraid to ask people for what you want. Don’t wait to be given a gift if it’s something you deserve. If someone close to you is starting to seem a little manipulative they probably are. Saturn and Pluto in your House of Philosophy will make you go back and forth on this (as well as with a number of other things that are going on) but with Pluto coming into alignment with Jupiter don’t feel guilty about putting your needs first. Uranus behind the scenes has been providing a certain amount of anxiousness within you for awhile, but now that all those Aquarius planets are lining up with the planet of freedom to confirm that you’re not crazy, make sure you trust your intuition and do what your heart tells you regarding who to trust and who not to trust. Mr. Saturn’s haiku this week is yours;

“Destiny is the

Inheritance we get from

Fate after a choice”

Gemini- You are a mutable Air Sign meaning that your mind will literally go whichever way the wind blows. This is particularly true at this time as The Sun, Mercury, and Venus all align harshly with Jupiter in one direction and beneficially with Uranus in the other. This could make you want something (or someone) just because circumstances won’t allow it, or it could make you give up on something (or someone) just because that’s the easiest thing to do right now. As Mars moves into a square with Neptune make sure you’re seeing the situation for what it really is; meaning be aware that what’s going on may actually originate from how you feel about yourself and not some outer reality dictating your existence. Be especially careful over the weekend if a charming stranger seems like they have all the answers to your topsy-turvy life, they don’t, but you may unwittingly have something they could beg, borrow, or steal to satiate their appetite for ego gratification. The Lunar Arc for you this week begins in the House of Creativity and ends in the House of Death and Transformation, meaning responsibility will follow action for you this week as immediately as burps follow beer, so don’t chug that mug just because you feel challenged to prove yourself.

Cancer- With a cluster of planets moving through your House of Legacies and Transformation and aligning with Uranus in your House of Public Image, you have been compelled so far this year to take care of everyone else’s needs but your own. With that same group of planets squaring Jupiter in your House of Creativity you also need to recognize that your life is a steaming locomotive rapidly running out of track, meaning that it’s high time you started taking care of what you need to do for yourself and calling in as many markers as possible to get help. Those who let you down will not be your friends in this next cycle of your life that is rapidly approaching. Pluto in your House of Relationships has been transforming how you deal with others for a while now and with the recent addition of Saturn into that same House you are being asked to swim with the tide instead of feeling that you are being drowned under a tidal wave of circumstances beyond your control. At the end of the week Venus will be entering your House of Philosophy to join Neptune in its home sign of Pisces, with both squaring Mars in your House of Daily Routines and Health. Please my sensitive little crustacean friend, learn to trust the changing tides, after all, you are a creature of the sea.

Leo- The needs and demands of a significant other may have finally reached the point of being untenable unless something is done, though not by you as they have already worn out that option. You Lions are always the last ones to realize it when you’re being taken advantage of, especially if the perpetrator is making you feel like you’re the most important person in their life. If this manipulation is happening on the home front then there isn’t any action on your part that’s needed, but rather non-action. Stop doing stuff that they should be doing, whether that means trying to counsel them about a situation they complain about constantly but won’t change, or cleaning up after them. In other words, stop being whatever they need you to be and start being what you need to be in your own life. Of course this will mean confronting your fears about being alone, but with Mars moving through rebellious Sagittarius on its way to an inevitable confrontation with Uranus not too long from now either you plan how this difficult situation is going to play out or else be surprised when your partner acts like an emotional kamikazi. Mr. Saturn understands this isn’t going to be pretty, but he is telling you what you need to hear and you know it. Remember the line from the song, “I can do bad all by myself.” Word!

Virgo- Saturn and Pluto in your House of Fun and Creativity is where your focus should be this week. Jupiter in Scorpio aligning with the aforementioned pair will likely have you wondering, could there be more fun in my life? At the same time a bunch of Aquarius planets moving through your House of Routines and aligning with Uranus will stimulate you to reflect on how you spend your time if, in fact, you’re not enjoying yourself? Venus will enter Pisces and your House of Partnerships at the end of the week, where it will eventually join with illusionary Neptune before squaring Mars in your House of Home and Symbolic Foundations. How much is a partner requiring of you on a day-to-day basis and to what extent do these expectations consider what your needs are? Hmmm. The Lunar Arc this week will begin in the sign of Libra, which naturally governs relationships and represents your House of Self Worth, where it will first square Saturn and then Pluto before finishing up at the end of the week toe to toe with those same revolutionary boys, Saturn and Pluto, in your House of Creativity. Mr. Saturn say’s, “Try to remember that the word “revolution” also includes the word “love” in it.

Libra- The French Poet Rimbaud (a Libran native) once wrote; “Now is the eve. Let us receive every influx of strength and true tenderness/And at dawn, armed with an ardent patience, we’ll enter into the splendid cities.” What you’re going through now is the stuff from which true poetry is made. The Sun, Mercury, and Venus in your House of Creativity are all angling harshly with Jupiter in your house of Self Worth, setting the stage for some of your long held ideals to clash with reality. Meanwhile, Uranus in your House of Relationships annoyingly keeps repeating that the only true freedom is in being yourself and fighting the good fight. So what is this ardent patience referred to by Mr. Rimbaud? That would be the presence of both Pluto and Saturn in your House of Symbolic Foundations at the very bottom of your chart, each of them working with Neptune as you sort out true visions from illusions and fleeting friendships from real love. The Lunar Arc for the week will descend from your ascendant to your IC, making it seem as if you are entering a dark night of the soul, although along the way the strength and true tenderness referred to in the Rimbaud quote will also be present in the form of Mars in Sagittarius and Venus entering Pisces. Mr. Saturn would encourage you to hang in there and, “May the odds ever be in your favor.”

Scorpio- As The Sun, Mercury, and Venus all sweep across the bottom of your chart and square Jupiter in your sign, you could be experiencing some unexpected delays either at work or on the home front. Not too worry. There is a metaphysical side to all of this that will be activated when Venus enters your House of Creativity, at which point she will sextile Uranus and then square Mars, motivating you to do what needs to be done as you come to the enlightening realization that the challenges life presents us are often the very blessings we need to truly change our realities and make Magick happen. The Lunar Arc this week will also be an illustration of this theme as the Moon begins its journey in your House of Confinement and then continues on through your Houses of Self Worth and Ideas, mirroring the process of birth as you emerge from a symbolic womb to be born into a world of limitless possibilities. As William Blake wrote in his Marriage of Heaven and Hell, “No bird soars too high, if he soars with his own wings.”

Sagittarius- The bottom of an Astrological Chart represents a person’s symbolic foundations. In your case, with Neptune lingering down there for so long you probably feel like a shipwreck survivor adrift in a vast ocean where nothing ever seems to change except for the sun going up and down. On the other hand, with Mars having recently entered your sign another part of you is beginning to feel inspired by a whole new level of energy starting to emerge, the likes of which you’ve probably not felt since back in the day when you were younger and life seemed to present more exciting possibilities. As Mars continues forward and comes into alignment with Mercury in your House of Communication you could likely encounter an unexpected opportunity, either at work or involving a special interest you have. Pluto and Saturn in your House of Self Worth are requiring you to step up and be more ambitious, meaning that any added responsibilities you are willing to accept in your career at this time will likely bring worthwhile dividends in the future. When Venus enters your Home area over the weekend expect that a loved one will need your special attention.

Capricorn- Mr. Saturn say’s, “Impatience is a doppelganger who doesn’t believe in you.” With Mars behind the scenes in your House of Confinement rapidly moving toward an exact square with Neptune in your House of Thinking, this could end up turning into a very anxious week for you as you find yourself worrying and wondering about everything. Add to this the fact that the Sun, Mercury, and Venus in your House of Self Worth are in a harsh angle with Jupiter in your House of Dreams and you’re also probably going to feel judged, yet the question is, by whom? The Lunar Arc beginning in your House of Public Image could have you overly concerned about what others may be thinking, so by the time it enters your sign to close the week you could be knee-deep in fixing things that may not really need to be fixed. Saturn and Pluto in your sign will be offering some sound advice on being careful about how much you worry about what you don’t have, simply because it usually means you’re also likely overlooking what you do have. This is where that doppelganger will be taunting you with ultimatums and judgments about how you should be doing so much better instead of wasting time. Mr. Saturn has a haiku for you this week;

“How much of our fear

Is simply the learning curve

For finding our strength?”

Aquarius- With the Sun, Venus, and Mercury all in your sign and squaring Jupiter in your House of Career you may have some of those close to you asking, “who are you and what have you done with (fill in your name)”? Neptune in your House of Self Worth is not helping to clear up this question, which is just fine with you as long as you remain the center of attention and Mars in your House of Groups has an audience to conquer. Saturn and Pluto behind the scenes will manage to keep things exciting much in the same way that a civil war is exciting, but at what price? Your ambition is ruthless right now, but so is your naiveté when it comes to how fast and loose you think you can play chicken with the balance of the universe. As Venus pulls into Pisces to end the week make sure that you’re not mistaking the admiration of others for love, especially when there is no humility present on your part. Mr. Saturn is feeling inspired this week so he has a haiku for you as well;

“We cast out lines to

Catch fish, yet rarely think past

The water’s surface”

Pisces- The Sun, Venus, and Mercury are all in your House of Confinement and squaring Jupiter in your House of Philosophy, meaning that perhaps the opinions of others are holding a little too much sway with you right now, regardless if you’re trying to conform or rebel as both represent flip sides of the same coin. Saturn and Pluto together in your House of Dreams could also seem like they’re really cracking the whip on you now as it feels like you’re being made to struggle more than you should have to for everything you need. Take heart, there is a silver lining in this cloud of difficulty surrounding you, although complaining about what’s happening or blaming others won’t help you to see it. When Venus enters your sign at the end of the week and starts to approach a beneficial alignment with Saturn in your House of Dreams, you may get a glimpse of the person you’re capable of becoming as you manage to rise to the occasion in a very difficult situation. Because Venus is currently very close to Neptune at this time and both are in your sign, the lesson here will likely involve compassion and selflessness, which may be just what you needed to learn to permanently change your luck.

Mr. Saturn’s Stars #14 Weekly Horoscopes 12/11-12/17, 2017

Weekly Horoscopes for 12/11-12/17, 2017

 

Hi kids!!! Mr. Saturn here. Glad to have you back! Like many of you, for better or worse I will soon be heading home for the holidays, which for me is my native sign of Capricorn; A mountaintop, a bunch of freakish half-goat, half-fish relatives to deal with… All I can say about that is…Fa la la la la…..la..la ……la…….la………..ugh.

Aries- The week will begin in a vacuum with a Libra Moon un-aspected in your House of Relationships, meaning you’re either depressed that you don’t have a relationship or else you don’t know what to do about the one you’ve got. Either way a Scorpio Moon conjunct Mars mid-week in your House of Transformation will find you feeling alone and/or alienated enough to do something you’ might regret… but don’t!!! Mercury Retrograde meeting up with Venus in Sag could bring an old friend to the rescue. You’re feeling crazy so let off some steam with someone who knows how weird being you can get.Mr. Saturn would suggest perhaps some karaoke to welcome the New Moon? “Twenty, twenty, twenty-four hours ago…..I wanna be sedated…..nuthin to do nowhere to go-oh…..I wanna be sedated.”

Taurus- This week could be a real slow burn for you. A Libra Moon with nowhere to go except where everyone else seems to want it could see you compromising yourself into utter frustration either on the job or at home. By the time the Moon gets into Scorpio mid-week and gossips with both Mars and Jupiter, you’ll be roundly chastising yourself. “How could you let them do that to you?” you’ll say to yourself, or else to your poor pet that just wants to lie next to you in peace. Uranus in your House of Secrets will make you fantasize about all the murder and mayhem you could enact upon these people in vengeance, however, by the time Mercury Retrograde and Venus meet up in bubbly Sagittarius over the weekend you’ll be ready to forget all that and go back to saying, “Namaste” to everyone. Mr. Saturn already knows what he’ll get you for Christmas….a big bottle of booze.

Gemini- With the Moon starting the week in your House of Fun (and the sign of Libra) you’ll probably feel compelled to be a man or woman for all seasons for both family and friends, but is that what you really want to do? With 5 major planets in your House of Relationships (including Mercury Retrograde) and all of them in dippy Sagittarius to boot, be careful you don’t forget how certain individuals have already shown you they are not as nice as they pretend. When the Moon enters Scorpio in your House of Routines and joins with Mars and Jupiter to aspect Pluto in your House of Death and Transformation, seize your power with these users and wield it as decisively as if you were a self-absorbed two year old….”nonononono!!!!!!” “That’ll show ‘em,” say’s Mr. Saturn.

Cancer- Having a directionless Libra Moon in your House of Foundations to start the week is making you feel so conflicted between your desires and responsibilities that if you agreed to a session with a shrink you’d probably be diagnosed as a schizophrenic. There are 5 major planets transiting through your House of Work and with all of them watching a rebellious, iconoclastic Uranus in your House of Career acting like Bart Simpson and giving them all the finger, you keep asking yourself just how much more of this you can take? When the Moon enters your House of Children to join both Mars and Jupiter as they all trine Neptune in your House of Philosophy, you’ll eventually remember who you’ve been sacrificing for all this time. Make sure you also remember that nothing in life lasts forever. As he pours you a nice glass of wine, Mr. Saturn will add, “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you’ll get what you need…..oh yeah..”

Leo- You will be torn this week between freedom and responsibility. With 5 planets transiting through Sagittarius and your House of Creativity and all of them lining up with innovative, individualistic Uranus in your House of Philosophy, you’ll be wanting to write your own ticket and make up your own rules. However, Mercury Retrograde in Sagittarius may be singing behind the scenes to those other Sag Planets, “Turn, turn, turn, there is a time for every purpose under heaven.” The Moon, Mars, and Jupiter in Scorpio in your House of Home will likely agree, as they demand your attention instead be focused on an intervention for a lonely friend or family member who really just needs to know someone cares.

Virgo- Imagine two soldiers standing guard on the wall of a fort. One say’s, “It’s quiet,” and the other replies, “Yeah, too quiet.” Just then an Indian’s arrow hits one of them and the air is filled with screaming war cries. A series of petty emergencies may surprise you this week, but if you and your partner pull together and delegate things properly everything should work out. All of the focus for the rest of this year will probably be at home as you have 5 major planets (including Mercury Retrograde) transiting that area. They are all in aspect to Uranus in your House of Transformation, so if you can go with the flow you just might experience some pleasant surprises. If romance has been lacking as of late between you and yours, let Mars and Jupiter in Scorpio help you get the passion back. Mr. Saturn say’s, “Rrrrrrrrrrrr…….”

Libra- Having 5 major planets in your House of Communications (including Mercury Retrograde) would make this an excellent time for you to reach out, especially to a person or professional group you may have fallen out of touch with. Because Uranus is also involved, you could end up receiving an unexpected blast from the past from either an old flame or someone who has popped into your mind again recently. With Mercury and Uranus together, there’s never any telling where these surprises may lead! Mars, the Moon, and Jupiter in your House of Earnings in aspect to Neptune in your House of Work could bring an unexpected opportunity for either some quick dough or a position that could showcase a unique talent you have. Maybe Santa actually did get your letter this year?

Scorpio- With a stellium of planets in your House of Earnings and Uranus in your House of Work, the Holidays for you are going to be busy busy busy. You may end up being exhausted but you should manage to rake in enough dough to make it well worthwhile. It won’t be all work and no play though because you also have Mars, Jupiter, and the Moon in your sign this week and they are all aligning beneficially with Neptune in your House of Romance and Fun. Even if you’re feeling frazzled take the time to attend a party and hit the egg nog. You never know, that overgrown elf lurking under the mistletoe and throwing back the brewski’s may just turn out to be your very own special Secret Santa (or secret Saturn if you’ve been REALLY good this year…..just sayin’).

Sagittarius- Having the Sun, Mercury Retrograde, Venus, Saturn, and the New Moon all in your sign aligning with Uranus in your House of Fun would indicate that the party this week is in Sag!!! With the Moon in Libra to start the week you will probably be feeling magnanimous and accommodating, however, once the Moon shifts into Scorpio and meets with Jupiter and Mars behind the scenes you might want to rethink your nice guy approach in lieu of certain individuals (okay, let’s be specific, certain family members) who might take advantage of your good nature. The Lunar Arc will finish in your sign over the weekend with a New Moon conjunct Saturn and trine Uranus, meaning that instead of letting the same jerks who have ruined your holiday in the past do it again, this time take the high ground. Mr. Saturn would suggest, “Bless the beasts and the children.” In other words, be nice to kids and pets and then either ignore your stupid relatives or find a comfy, out of the way spot to drink by yourself.

Capricorn- You’re like a floating iceberg this week in that most of what you’re thinking and feeling is concealed below the surface. This is because a stellium of planets in Sagittarius (including Mercury Retrograde) are all hiding behind the scenes and aligning with Uranus at the bottom of your chart. A kind and compassionate Jupiter/Neptune configuration between your Houses of Friends and Communication could help you avoid depression if you’re willing to seek out a friend or family member with whom you can vent a little to relieve the pressure. After all, the holidays can be frustrating if you let yourself get cornered into believing that everybody except you is happy with all this phony commercialism and advertised joy. On a more upbeat note amidst all this Christmas nonsense, Mr. Saturn will be coming to visit your sign just before Christmas Eve! Yay humbug!!!

Aquarius- Right now there are 5 major planets in your House of Dreams and they are all aligning with Uranus in your House of Communication. As a result, the illusion of choice for you now is popularity. The Lunar Arc will travel this week from Libra through Scorpio to Sagittarius or from establishing relationships to manipulating these relationships for fame and gain. “That sounds great,” you say, which may actually be the problem. Mars and Jupiter in Scorpio transiting through your House of Career and Public Image would indicate that no matter how broad your smile and no matter what promises you are making to all the people you’re asking for help, the simple fact is this is all about you. Pluto camped out behind the scenes would indicate a need to transform the notions you have about love change from adoration to humility, but then again you’d have to be able to be by yourself to deal with that, which is the scariest place in the world for you right now. The New Moon in Sag shacking up with Mr. Saturn will likely arrange for you to have your illusions for a while longer, so enjoy it while you can. Mr. Saturn’s haiku this week is yours:

To think your ego

Is what will conquer this life

Defines Black Magick

Pisces- A traffic jam of planets in your House of Career (including a very dissident Mercury Retrograde) are all causing you to have illusions of practicality about your former ambitious illusions. Now what could that possibly mean? Well, maybe the river you initially chose to cross wasn’t really the right one for you (which of course you wouldn’t hear at the time)? Nevertheless, changing horses now when you’re 3/4 of the way across is ridiculous, especially since you’re so close to finishing and learning whatever it is you’re supposed to. Now do you understand? Probably not, mostly due to the fact that transiting Mars in Scorpio aligning with Neptune in your sign at this time is giving you a real passion for not having a clue and being defensive about it. You think choice and responsibility are mutually exclusive just because they’re two different words, well, not to whoever is sponsoring this adventure you’ve been having….have you thought of that? When the New Moon tattles to Mr. Saturn on Sunday he may just make you aware of it.