Mr. Saturn’s Stars #15 Weekly Horoscopes for 12/18-12/24, 2017

Weekly Horoscopes for 12/18 – 12/24, 2017


Hi kids!!! Welcome back once again to Mr. Saturn’s Stars.

For any of you out there who aren’t feeling all this Christmas hype there is an alternative holiday one can celebrate at this time of year if you’re interested. December 17th – 23rd is the annual Feast of Saturnalia, an Ancient Roman holiday that honored the God Saturn (who, by the way, I’m officially related to according to

Unlike the crass commercialism and corny trappings of Christmas, Saturnalia featured all kinds of freaky stuff. There was role reversal and behavioral license, like Masters serving Slaves at the celebration banquet, Slaves being able to gamble with their Master’s or even disobey them without fearing punishment, and of course lots of Free Love. According to one source, “Rampant overeating and drunkenness became the rule and a sober person the exception.” My Great, great, great, great Granddad really knew how to throw a party, didn’t he? So, if you’d prefer to abandon social norms this holiday season instead of conforming as usual, then join the conga line to the Temple of Saturn nearest you and debauch de-year away!


Aries- With the New Moon, Venus, and Saturn in Sag to start the week and all of them aligning with Uranus in your sign, you will no doubt be feeling invincible, or at least fairly lucky if you can manage to do something like be on the platform at the same time as the train pulls into the station so you won’t be late for work on Monday morning. Enjoy these small victories while they last, because as the week drags on the Moon, Saturn, and then the Sun will all arrive in Capricorn, the sign of responsibility and achievement as well as your House of Career. Pluto is also in Capricorn now, so as the aforementioned planets join the archetype of death and transformation this is a time for you to re-examine your ambitions and direction. Make sure you haven’t become complacent in a situation that affords you comfort and perks but no longer really challenges you. Toward the end of the week when Mercury goes station/direct and briefly angles Neptune and Jupiter, take a moment to consider just how seriously you take yourself and where that falls between fabulous and not good enough as you stand at the velvet rope and wait for Mr. Saturn to let you in.

Taurus- Did you ever see the movie “Network” when the Newscaster played by Peter Finch tells people to stick their heads out the window and yell, “I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore!” Are you anywhere near a window? As the Moon, Saturn, and the Sun go into Capricorn and Jupiter and Mars continue their march through your House of Relationships, your grumpiness may be hard to conceal, especially since a volatile, retrograde Uranus has been chained to a radiator in your subconscious for quite awhile now and the neighbors are starting to suspect something. The Lunar Arc this week will highlight the process of how you negotiate your needs in any given situation, which brings us back to the screaming out the window thing; does it need to get to that? As Mercury goes station/direct and nudges Neptune and Jupiter, stop trying to act so nice and instead start being nice to yourself, whatever that may mean and whoever may need to pay for it. “Word!” say’s Mr. Saturn.

Gemini- “Therefore send not to know For whom the bell tolls, It tolls for thee.” The new Moon at the beginning of the week in your House of Relationships will be ringing in the next phase of a romantic partnership, namely commitment and responsibility. The Moon, Saturn, and the Sun will all be entering Capricorn this week and transiting through your House of Shared Resources, so maybe the time has come to make a home with that special someone? Mars and Jupiter in your House of Work slowly aligning with Neptune in your Career area might require you to manage your time between a job that pays the bills and a career that satisfies your soul. You may be frustrated at having to compromise your time, but just like the old chain gangs, Mr. Saturn would suggest you sing some blues to get you through. ”Girl we gotta get out of this place, if it’s the last thing we ever do, we gotta get out of this place, Girl there’s a better life for me and you.”

Cancer- Not that long ago you were complaining that nothing was ever going to change. Well, the time has come to quote a famous Lady who once advised in a classic film, “Buckle your seatbelts it’s going to be a bumpy night.” With the Moon, Saturn, and the Sun joining transformational Pluto in your opposite sign of Capricorn and aligning with Neptune in your House of Travels and Mars and Jupiter in your Creative area, get ready for circumstances to sweep you away into a new phase of your life. Not quite as epic as “Doctor Zhivago,” but what awaits might reveal a destiny you never suspected. Of course you’ll fret about it every step of the way because that’s what you Crabs do, yet once Mercury goes station/direct late in the week and starts to chug ahead toward Uranus don’t be surprised if these unfolding circumstances activate your higher Cancer nature and you come to a stunning realization. Home is wherever the heart is. “Duh-uh,” says Mr. Saturn before he recites your haiku.

“Faith is a haunted

House where we all search in the

Dark with a candle”

Leo- Mr. Saturn and the Sun will move into the sign of Capricorn this week to join Pluto in your House of Health. So how are you feeling? If there is anything your body is trying to tell you make sure you’re listening, because if you don’t Mr. Saturn can be part Nurse and part Sumo Wrestler if necessary to make you a willing patient. Mercury will go station/direct just before the Holiday and square Neptune, so make sure you fulfill your obligations to family. Try to be kind and put up with whatever you have to so that an older person can feel appreciated. They may not be so fabulous now, but they loved you way back when you weren’t so fabulous either. A Pisces Moon on Christmas Eve aligning with Jupiter and Mars may help you to finally see someone for who they truly are instead of who you’d like them to be. Everyone else already knows about this person so let Mr. Saturn get you another glass of wine to help lubricate your naivety through this unbelievable realization.

Virgo- Like Dorothy and her friends being nervous about meeting the Wizard of Oz, the arrival of Saturn into Capricorn and your House of Creativity may have you feeling a little edgy about how a project you’re involved with is going to turn out? Pluto, the planetary archetype of transformation, has already been in this area of your chart for a while, so if you’ve been reading the writing on the wall regarding change then Mr. Saturn will likely be about your dreams coming to fruition, albeit slowly. Just two days after Mr. Saturn arrives in his home sign the Sun will also enter Capricorn, which could help move matters along a little quicker, especially next week when Venus joins the party. Mars and Jupiter in your House of Communication will use Neptune to help spread the word, so if you’re not a success by New Years, don’t fret. Mr. Saturn says you will be the baby wearing the 2018 banner.

Libra- This might sound ominous, but your life is about to change significantly in the coming months, so get ready. The herald of this change will begin this week with none other than Mr. Saturn (Ta-da!!!) entering his home sign of Capricorn and your House of Foundations. Pluto has been there for the last few years setting the stage for this and as Jupiter and Mars in your earnings area and Neptune in the work sphere all move into alignment, the stage is being set for a Quantum Leap regarding how you’re accustomed to thinking about yourself and acting. There’s no way to prepare for this other than to try and be like the surfer who sees the ultimate wave starting to form; put your head down, paddle your ass off, and hope for the best. “Day destroys the night, Night divides the day, try to run, try to hide, Break on through to the Other Side!”

Scorpio- Jupiter and Mars together in your sign now are providing you with a lot of energy. When Saturn and the Sun move into Capricorn during the week and enter your House of Communication, all that energy should finally be finding its focus so that you will be able to advance to the next level in whatever facet of your life you’d like to see improve. Venus in your House of Earnings aligning with Uranus in your House of Work should bring you some tangible dollars and cents recognition in the workplace, either from your current boss or someone else who would like to snatch you away. You will be feeling better than you have in a while, although as Mercury station/direct squares Neptune in your House of Romance, don’t let your good vibe be taken advantage of by a potential suitor who may be offering promises and not much more. As Grace Slick once sang, don’t end up being “A woman with her Greasy Heart Automatic Man.”

Sagittarius- Okay my Centaur friend, what do you want and how much are you willing to do to get it? Jupiter and Mars in Scorpio have been causing you to grind your gears behind the scenes, but now with both Saturn and the Sun moving into Capricorn and your House of Self Worth the time has come to either put up or shut up in terms of what you think you’re capable of. Venus in your sign lining up with Uranus in your House of Fun is making you quite affable, although make sure you’re not putting yourself at a disadvantage by good naturedly agreeing to someone else’s version of you. A Mercury station/retrograde in your sign angling with Neptune will be the last writing on the wall warning you about a manipulative situation at home. After that, Mr. Saturn will have no choice except to serve you with a subpoena to appear before the Court of Common Sense on charges of Felony Gullibility…just sayin’.

Capricorn- Mr. Saturn is coming home to your sign! Are you ready? I’m sorry, that’s a dumb question, of course you’re not ready for Mr. Saturn to be back, who would be? I mean this is Mr. Saturn we’re talking about. Although with the holidays so close maybe he’ll be in a party mood for the remainder of 2017? After all, the only major planet Mr. Saturn will be hanging out with for the rest of this year will be when he shacks up with Venus on Christmas Day (Ooh la la). However, make no mistake about it, he is back and will be making sure that shit gets done. The best way to keep him off your ass would be to enlist the services of Mars and Jupiter in your House of Groups and Neptune in your House of Communication, as they are all in compatible signs and Mars and Jupiter are the kind of hardnosed pros Mr. Saturn appreciates. As a Capricorn you’re a chip off the same old block as Mr. Saturn, so just stay on course for what you’ve been intending over the last few months and enjoy a little Venus yourself over the holiday. Merry Xmas!!!

Aquarius- As Saturn and the Sun enter the hidden part of your chart you could begin to get an inkling of just how much you are driven by the paradox of wanting more because you feel like less. You won’t dwell on this very much, mainly because with Venus in your House of Groups and Uranus in your area of Communications you will be too busy working the room (or the internet) to satisfy the center of attention jones you have going on with Mars and Jupiter in your House of Career and Public Image. Eventually though the curtain will close, the show will end, and there you’ll be, not knowing what to do with yourself without the smell of the greasepaint and the roar of the crowd to give you purpose. This brief moment of alienation will come courtesy of a Mercury station squaring Neptune, although the greater ramifications of this are far too mysterious for you to seriously consider at this time. Just recall what the Oracle told Neo in the Matrix, “you’ll remember you don’t believe in any of this fate crap. You’re in control of your own life…here take a cookie, by the time you’re done eating it you’ll be right as rain.” In other words, don’t worry about it now. Mr. Saturn will be hanging out in your shadows for a while until you’re ready to deal.

Pisces- This week Mr. Saturn will enter your House of Dreams. “What does that mean?” you ask. Imagine being given a charge card with a high credit line and then indulging yourself like a Sultan and maxing it out buying everything you’ve always wanted. When that first bill eventually arrives with interest added on, well, that’s classic Mr. Saturn requiring you to be responsible for your dreams. Now do you understand? Neptune in your sign has set you up for this and Jupiter in your House of Philosophy has fostered the illusion that you’re invincible. The more mundane fact however is that you’re going to have to start being more responsible for a lot of stuff that you don’t want to make time for. Of course you’ll try to charm your way out of growing up, but that will only last as long as it takes Venus to trine Uranus, which will be over by next week. In the meantime what’s that song Mr. Saturn is singing?….”It’s my life and I’ll do what I want/ It’s my mind and I’ll think what I want….” Uh-huh.

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